DR. WALLACE: I'm a sophomore in high school and I get very good grades. I'm not a straight A student, but I do receive more A's than B's, and in my high school academic career so far I have not received any grade lower than a B. But no matter how good my report cards are, my parents are never satisfied.

My father in particular has taken his grimaces and facial contortions to an art form when he reviews my grades. One semester, I had six A grades and only one B, and he made his usual facial expressions and then said to me, "Too bad you only achieved a B grade in chemistry. Maybe you didn't study long enough or hard enough?" The truth is I studied harder and longer in that chemistry class than any of the others!

Why do my parents treat me like a failure when, in fact, I am a very decent student? — They Are Never Satisfied, via email

THEY ARE NEVER SATISFIED: It's truly a plain shame when parents do not recognize and encourage academic achievements and consistent good behavior, for that matter. As a former school principal, I cringe whenever I hear stories like yours.

One time, I was able to meet such a parent in person, and I took the opportunity to ask this parent why he did not encourage his children, who were all excellent academic students. His reply stunned me. He said, "I don't want them to ever stop working hard and I don't want them ever to accept inferior grades."

This reply gave me insight into the sad mindset that caused him to fear praising his children, even a little, out of his concern that they would ease off on their study habits. My experience in schools has shown me the very opposite several times. Students who are encouraged and congratulated often did even better in the future out of a combined desire to achieve for their own personal goals, and to make their parents proud at the same time. Contrast that mindset with one that instills fear of not achieving a perfect report every time, and sadly, those pressured do not in aggregate achieve more than those who are encouraged and congratulated.

So please let me congratulate you on being an excellent student at your high school. I trust that if you elect to pursue a college degree, your academic talents and diligence will lead to high achievement at that level as well.

MY MOM KEEPS UP HER FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM!

DR. WALLACE: I 'm 19 and I live at home with my mom. I attend a local junior college and I'm doing well in school. My mom and I get along great for the most part, but there's one issue that is a problem for me.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We were together for about a year, and lately we've really drifted apart in many areas that are very important to me. I like him now as a bit of a "distant friend," but nothing more. The problem for me is that my mom always really liked him, and she thought we would get married someday, but I can tell you now that this is off the table as far as I'm concerned.

My mom still maintains a friendship with him, so much so that he comes by our condo about once a week to talk to her. If I'm around when he arrives, I either go take a shower or get in my car and run errands. I don't want to be part of their conversation and I don't want to hear it either.

Am I overreacting here? I really don't want my ex hanging around our home regularly. — It's Over for Sure, via email

IT'S OVER FOR SURE: I fully agree with you on this topic. Of course your mother can be friends with whomever she wants to, and she is the head of your household, but after all, you are her daughter, and she should be sensitive to your wishes in this case.

If your mom persists in communicating with him, it should be offsite away from your home if it's in person. She could also text, email or occasionally speak to him on the phone, as this would not put him physically right in your field of vision.

I find your mother's actions to be strange and a bit selfish, as she's putting her wishes ahead of yours in such a sensitive area of your life. Perhaps tell her that if the roles were reversed, you'd never bring an ex of hers into your home, as you'd feel that would be both awkward and inappropriate.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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