DR. WALLACE: I've been dating a guy for four months now and so far, our relationship has been very good. He has treated me well and we've had a lot of laughs and good times together.

However, about a week ago, my brother happened to meet my boyfriend's older brother since they both attend the same college. A very strange and disturbing thing took place during their conversation. My boyfriend's brother informed my brother that his younger brother had been physically abusive to prior girlfriends and even received a restraining order from a local court for an incident in which he apparently physically assaulted the girl with slaps, shoves and by twisting her arm behind her back until she suffered an injury that was diagnosed as an elbow sprain.

Needless to say, I was shocked, and I didn't know what to do for the first few days after hearing this news. But yesterday I got my nerve up and confronted my boyfriend about what I recently learned. I did not tell him exactly how I found this out; I simply told him that I got the details through an extremely reliable source.

At first, my boyfriend tried to deny everything! But I persisted in discussing this topic with him and eventually he admitted that he had come out of two difficult relationships in the past year and a half. He then tried to tell me that the events were no big deal and were really just what he considered to be bad breakups.

He went on to tell me that the stalking charges and restraining order were both bogus and should never have happened. He explained that both of his previous girlfriends had cheated on him and when they finally admitted this, it made him extremely jealous in both cases.

He also then told me that our relationship together is very different and that he loves and trusts me completely. I think I'm wise enough to know that we are still in the early stages of our relationship, and this makes me worried about what may happen once we get further down the line and the newness of our relationship wears off.

Do you feel I should give him more time to prove he's now a different guy, or should I cut my "losses" before they ever occur? — One Worried Girlfriend, via email

ONE WORRIED GIRLFRIEND: I side with the strategy of cutting your possible future losses by making a preemptive move right now. Yes, you've enjoyed four months of relatively stable times, but his past and the fact he kept it from you and tried to deny it when you first mentioned it gives me great pause. I could never advise you to stay in this relationship in good conscience with this backdrop.

Any male who batters a female has a psychological problem in my opinion and would be best served by receiving professional counseling and guidance immediately after the first incident. Otherwise, it's extremely likely that this type of cowardly and unacceptable behavior will continue when a future event triggers him again. You now have seen the warning signs and it's up to you to protect yourself going forward with this knowledge.

I'M UNHAPPY WITH MY CURRENT ROUTINES

DR. WALLACE: I'm tired of my same old routines! I seem to just trudge through school and through my personal life as well. I'm not sad or depressed or anything like that, but on the other hand there's not much I'm excited about or looking forward to these days either.

Everything seems mundane and routine, and I truly feel I need to break out of the rut I feel I've been in.

I know you don't know much about my life or me, but I'm a girl who is about to turn 17 in two months. I get decent grades at my high school, but I'm no scholar or valedictorian. I tend to blend into both my classrooms and the overall campus in a quiet kind of way. — I Need to Break Out, via email

I NEED TO BREAK OUT: Perhaps you can start by looking back at your life and thinking about the past experiences you've enjoyed the most. Concentrate on what made you happy and the reasons you enjoyed those experiences so much. This may lend you some insight into areas of your life that would motivate you. Couple this with trying to find a way to associate with a few other individuals who share your interests, passions or hobbies.

Oftentimes finding another individual who enjoys the things you enjoy can bring about a lot of interesting discussions and experiences.

You can do this at your school perhaps by looking into clubs and groups that may align with your interests, but please don't stop there. There may be several other opportunities to network with individuals in your city or the surrounding geographic areas that you may find enjoyable.

You can also think about getting a pet if you don't already have one. Of course, you'd need to lobby your parents for approval of this idea, but pets often bring humans great joy during our daily routines as they regularly provide loyalty, companionship and affection to those they live with.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Counselling at Pixabay