DR. WALLACE: Before this last school year started, my parents got divorced. Fortunately for our family, this was not a spiteful divorce; in fact, my parents have acted very civilly toward each other.

I have only one older brother and no sisters. Growing up, my brother always looked after me, since I'm his younger sister and he and I have been very close for many years.

My situation got a bit tricky when my mother took a job 1,000 miles away from our hometown. It was a good promotion for her, and I could fully understand why she might want a fresh start in an area where my father did not live. Both my brother and I were given the option of living with either parent. My brother chose to stay with my father so he could complete his senior year in high school with all of his existing friends. But since I was just about to enter my freshman year of high school, I decided to follow my mom to our new city and live with her and her mother, my grandmother. My grandmother thinks she and I have always gotten along really well, and I'm happy to say that continues to this day. And my mom is wonderful, I love her, and she and I get along really well.

My problem, however, is that I have not made many friends yet at my new school even though the school year will be over in a few months. I feel like a fish out of water, and I'm not happy at my current school. In fact, I'm starting to feel homesick and am wondering if I should ask my mom if it would be all right with her to move back to live with my brother and my dad, but I don't want to hurt her feelings.

What do you think I should consider doing in my situation? — Still Haven't Settled In, via email

STILL HAVEN'T SETTLED IN: You may want to do your utmost to seek out a friend or two before the school year ends. Check to see what kinds of clubs exist at your high school, and if there are one or two that interest you, I'd suggest that you seek to join them immediately, if possible. This would put you in direct contact with other students who would have something in common with you. Do your best to be friendly and outgoing, and explain to your fellow students that you still feel a little isolated at your new school. This may create an opportunity to gradually begin new friendships.

And if you do find a new friend or two, ask them if they plan to take any summer school classes. If so, you should consider attending a summer school class yourself. There are fewer students on campus over the summer, and the class sizes are usually smaller. This would give you a great opportunity to bond with a few students over this summer so that by the time you start your sophomore year, you'd feel much more comfortable.

Finally, I suggest you discuss this matter openly and honestly with your mother. Explain how you feel now, and run the suggestions I've presented to you here by your mother as well. Since the two of you have such a great relationship, I'm sure she will do all she can to help you feel more comfortable at your new school.

HE WANTS MARRIAGE, BUT I'M NOT SURE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and will turn 20 in two months. I have a full-time job and I earn a decent living at this point in my life, but I don't have a lot of extra spending money even though I live at home.

My mom recently got engaged to a guy that I'll charitably call a "deadbeat," since I could give you more descriptive terms for him. As soon as their engagement was announced, he moved into our home, and it's been really bad for me. He literally smells, he leers at me and he lies around the house all day drinking beer and watching television. He's a total loser, and I don't know what my mom sees in him. My mom and I used to do things together and we get along fine, but now all of her free time goes to "Mr. Deadbeat."

Anyhow, I want out of the house now. I have a good friend who offered to get a place together with me so that, as roommates, we could split the rent and utility bills. I have a boyfriend who I've dated for eight months, and he now tells me that we should get married and move in together. I like him but I know I'm not truly in love with him. Now I have a decision to make. Should I move in with my friend or marry my boyfriend even though I'm not so sure of my long-term love for him? — Undecided Right Now, via email

UNDECIDED RIGHT NOW: Marriage is designed as a long-term commitment, not a safety valve of convenience to escape a home situation that you don't enjoy any longer.

My recommendation is to take your friend up on her offer to become roommates. This will allow you to escape the home you don't wish to live in, and it will keep your options open on your relationship with your boyfriend. If you feel differently about him in the future, and he still feels the same way about you that he does now, then you can consider marriage from a position of strength and careful consideration. And if you two are to part ways at some point, it's a whole lot better to do so without having to dissolve a marriage.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: TanteTati at Pixabay