DR. WALLACE: My parents have a dysfunctional relationship, which makes it hard for me to stay in her family home. I turned 18 about seven months ago, and I have a good job at an upscale local restaurant.

The problem in our household is that my father is verbally abusive to my mother, even though I have never seen him physically harm her. He doesn't direct much of his anger at me at all. In fact, he rarely speaks to me for any reason. I've been thinking of moving out of the house with a roommate, since I know I could afford it at this point in my life. But my two best friends can't become my roommates, since one is married and the other one lives with her boyfriend.

However, there's a guy at my workplace that recently had a roommate move out of his apartment, and so he offered to rent me a room at a reasonable rate. It's close to the restaurant in a good part of our town. He and I are only coworkers, and I told him that I do not plan to date him or see him socially if I were to take him up on his offer. He told me he agreed, as he's been dating another girl on and off for the past six months anyway.

I'm somewhat concerned that if I move in with this guy at his apartment it may cause rumors at our job, and I also don't know what my parents would think about this. Should I consider proceeding anyway, or should I just try to hang in there in our dysfunctional family home for another 6 to 12 months? — Not Happy at Home, via email

NOT HAPPY AT HOME: To me, the key element regarding your co-worker is the level of trust you have with him. If you feel you know him well and trust him explicitly, there should be no problem renting a room as a platonic friend at his apartment.

And since your family home is quite dysfunctional, it would likely be better for you personally to be away from that situation. You would also have your own place that would allow you to invite your mother over to visit from time to time so that you can talk to her alone outside the presence of your father. This may enable you to help her in various ways, since she may very well be in need of guidance and emotional support at this time.

Finally, don't worry what other people may or may not say about you, since you know the truth about your own situation. Simply smile at your other co-workers and say that you're platonic roommates and that, although he is a great guy, you have no interest at all in dating him. Leave it at that, and over time any budding rumors should fizzle out pretty quickly.

MY BROTHER WARNED ME NOT TO DATE HIM

DR. WALLACE: My older brother is two years older than I am and he has a close friend who is in the same grade that he is. His friend often flirts with me when he comes over to visit our family house, and the two of us have had many interesting conversations to the point where it is obvious that we both like each other.

Last week when he visited my brother, he asked me out on a date when my brother went into the garage to get some sports equipment. Then after he left for the day, I told my brother about planning to date his best friend. My brother was very unhappy and told me not to do it!

He went on to say that he considers his friend to be a "player" who dates many girls only a couple of times and then moves on to someone else. He told me not to become another "notch" in his friend's belt, whatever that means. Should I go out with this guy anyway, or do you feel I should listen to my brother? And for the record, my brother and I have always gotten along great together and he always looks out for me. But in this case, since his friend is so cute, I kind of want to date him anyway, despite my brother's warning. What do you think? — Now Not So Sure, via email

NOW NOT SO SURE: Of course the decision is entirely up to you when it comes to your social life, but I found your letter quite revealing from the viewpoint that your brother and you have such a good, close sibling relationship. Given this context, I feel your brother is indeed trying to protect you here and is likely doing his best to honestly look out for you.

Take this information under consideration and think carefully before you make your final decision. And if you do date this guy, be "on guard" to see if what your brother is warning about him may be true.

And if you elect to pass on dating this guy, you'll no doubt have many opportunities to date other guys who do not have this same type of reputation. In this case, at least from your brother's point of view, his friend's wandering reputation is likely more than deserved.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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