DR. WALLACE: I have an older sister, and most of the time, we get along great. I always ask her before I borrow any of her clothes — except this once recently, since she was not home at the time. I borrowed her white jean jacket and wore it out, and somehow, when I got home, I noticed a stain on the sleeve. So, I tried to wash it, but the stain is still there. Yesterday, she asked me if I knew where her white jean jacket was, and I said I didn't know.

What do I do now? If I tell her then she will be mad and never let me borrow anything else ever again, and she has a lot of nice clothes! — Borrowing Blunder, via email

BORROWING BLUNDER: Take it to a local dry-cleaning store and explain as much as you can about the stain, including that you have already tried to wash it out. With luck, maybe your local professionals can get the stain out for you.

As far as your sister is concerned, you need to tell her you took the jacket without her permission and accept the consequences, no matter whether the stain comes out or not.

If, by chance, the stain does not come out and the jacket is ruined, I suggest you buy her another one as quickly as possible. Yes, this means doing extra babysitting, washing cars or finding a way to get a small part-time job to raise this money. It's your responsibility, and this is an important life lesson you need to learn: When you make a mistake, do your best to correct it and accept responsibility right away.

SNEAKY SISTER

DR. WALLACE: I'm not sure I have a problem, but there is a situation that has created a question that I thought maybe you could help me answer. I have a really sneaky older sister. She has a boyfriend, and for the most part he's OK, even though I don't see anything special in him.

They have been seeing each other for over a year. I don't think my parents know, but my sister sneaks her boyfriend into her bedroom after my parents go to sleep. Then he sneaks back out before they wake up! I know this because I've seen it with my own eyes. Obviously, my parents wouldn't approve. What should I do, if anything?

What's interesting is that she has never mentioned this activity to me at all, even though I think she might be aware that I know what's going on. I kind of wish I had never seen any of this because now I worry a lot about what to do or not do. — Know Too Much, via email

KNOW TOO MUCH: I'm not sure how old your sister is, but since she lives in your parents' house, no matter whether she is over 18 or even over 21, she should not be sneaking her boyfriend into her room without your parents' knowledge.

Her actions, and his, are both intentionally deceitful. If you were in your parents' situation, you would certainly want to know what is going on inside of your home.

Realize that you have done nothing wrong here; your sister and her boyfriend are the ones engaging in behavior that is out of bounds. Your parents deserve to know, so tell them immediately. Perhaps they won't even need to mention they discovered this behavior via you. For all your sister would know, your parents could have found this out on their own, and the focus would likely be on correcting the situation rather than reviewing how your parents discovered it.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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