DR. WALLACE: My parents have been divorced for over three years, and my older sister and I live with our mom. We are both teenagers, and all three of us get along great.

My dad has remarried, and he and his wife now have a new baby boy. I visit them every other weekend and enjoy seeing my dad and my half brother, but I'm actually not all that happy to see my dad's new wife. Lately, my dad has been telling me that he wants me to live with him and we can go to court to see that he is given custody of me. He never even mentioned if he would want my sister to live there, too, so I didn't say anything to him about that.

I love my dad, but I don't want to leave my mother and my sister. I'm really worried because my dad has a lot of money. Is it possible that the court would make me live with him? Also, if that happened, I'd have to change schools, and I don't want to leave my school. I love my teachers, and I have some great friends at school, too. I've thought about this a lot lately, but the more I think about it, the more I know for sure that I don't want to go. — Worried Daughter, via email

WORRIED DAUGHTER: It's remotely possible, but not too likely that your father could gain custody of you. He would have to convince the court that your mother is not physically or mentally capable of continuing to be an effective parent. The judge would also allow you to express your feelings in court before any judgment is made.

Before things get this far, I suggest that you let your father know that you love him, but you wish to live with your mother and sister because you are comfortable there and at your present school. I trust your father will understand this. Also, if you feel up to it, I have a suggestion to offer you. Perhaps you can mention to your father that as your new little brother gets a bit older, you can help out by babysitting him from time to time! This will likely make your father smile and will let him know that you look forward to interacting with his new family as well.

'LOVE IS BLIND' APPLYS HERE

DR. WALLACE: My mom's boyfriend is an alcoholic. He doesn't live with us, but he spends a lot of time at our home. Many times, when he's been drinking, he will say to my mom, "I think it's better if I just crash at your crib tonight.

I literally roll my eyes every time I hear him say that. He's not so bad when he's not drinking, but unfortunately, that doesn't happen very often. He's drinking over half the time.

I keep telling my mother we don't need an unemployed alcoholic hanging around her house, but she says she loves him and plans to marry him as soon as I graduate from high school next year. In the meantime, he has ruined the quiet, peaceful life we once had.

I shudder to think what her life will be after she marries this guy. Mom works hard and makes a decent living. This guy doesn't work because he's on some sort of disability program that pays him $1,500 a month.

After I graduate, I'm planning to move in with my grandmother. I look forward to getting a job and possibly going to college if my grandparents can afford it. I may get a scholarship because my grade point average is very good. If my mother would stop seeing her boyfriend before I graduate, I would continue to live with her. Without being a horrible daughter, what can I tell my mom to make her understand that her life will be miserable as long as she is with this loser guy? — Unimpressed Daughter, Tucson, Arizona

UNIMPRESSED DAUGHTER: Whoever coined the phrase "love is blind" was truly onto something, and it is apparently an apt saying for your mother's present situation. Encourage your mother to get her boyfriend to stop drinking. A good start would be for him to join Alcoholics Anonymous. It would be very unwise of your mother to marry him while he is still drinking this much. Continue to remind her of this and have trusted adults (ministers, counselors, family friends) do the same.

If possible, you and your mom should go into family counseling. Mom calls it love, but there might be a hidden reason why she allows a man of his character around the house. A counselor might be able to uncover the real reason. Above all, keep being calm and loving toward your mother. Tell you are discussing this matter because you love her and care for her a great deal. A key for you is to keep a good line of communication open with your mother. Showing nonjudgmental concern is always more effective than being miserable and letting someone know that in a condescending way.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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