DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and my husband-to-be is 22, and we plan to set a wedding date for this coming June. We have been dating ever since I was a high school junior. It truly was love at first sight for both of us. We love each other more than I can put into words, and there is no way we will not get married. Both Brad and I are employed in his uncle's insurance agency and we have good job security. Brad was raised by his uncle after his parents were divorced.
My family just does not want me to get married. They like Brad but they don't feel comfortable discussing a wedding. My younger brother and sister both agreed to be in the wedding, but they don't seem to want me to get married either. My mom always gets depressed whenever I talk about our plans.
How can I get my family excited and happy that their daughter and sister will be marrying this wonderful guy who loves her very much and she loves him the same? — Carla, Laredo, Tex.
CARLA: Since you would be the first sibling to leave the nest, your family seems to be having difficulty with the idea of not seeing your smiling face every day. They look at your marriage as losing a daughter and sister, rather than gaining a son and brother.
I don't know how long you and Brad have been officially engaged or whether the wedding has been sprung on your family as something shockingly sudden. They may need time to get to know Brad as a future son-in-law.
The two of you should spend as much time together socially with your family as possible, so they can learn to love him as much as you do. The better they know him, the easier it will be for them to accept him as a family member.
I'M FRESH OUT OF BIBLE SCHOOL
DR. WALLACE: I am a full-time youth minister and a regular reader of your column. I want you to know the column is an excellent resource for anyone who works with kids on any level.
I respect your wisdom very much and almost always agree with your answers. Even though I have differed with your reasoning from time to time, I always have agreed with your solutions.
Thanks so much for caring about kids and daring to help them. I am fresh out of Bible School and my wisdom is limited. Your column helps to fill in the areas I still don't know how to handle.
In some instances I haven't yet learned to identify the problems as such, but I'm improving. — Matthew, Chicago, Ill.
MATTHEW: Thanks for the encouragement and support. It means a great deal when it comes from a person of your caliber.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU HAVE A DATING PROBLEM
DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl and I'm not interested in dating at this time in my life. I'm really into my studies and my music, and dating is just going to have to wait.
Over the holidays my aunt asked my mom why I wasn't dating and then said that I might have a psychological problem. Do you think this is possible? — Nameless, Detroit, Mich.
NAMELESS: I don't believe that you have any kind of problem because you choose to delay the dating game. Some teens start dating early, while others, like you, will date in the late teens. Don't be forced into something you don't want to do. You will know when it's time to enjoy going out on a date.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creator Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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