DR. WALLACE: Last week my cousin told me she saw my boyfriend out with another girl at the movies and it really upset me. He denied this when I accused him of cheating on me and we got into a huge argument. I called him a liar and he punched me in the mouth and split my lip. He has never hit me before so this really took me by surprise and I told him to take me home. When I got home my lip was still bleeding so I told my parents that I had tripped getting out of the car.
The next day my boyfriend called and said that he was sorry and he would never hit me again. I accepted his apology because I really like him a lot.
Then last night we got into another spat and he put his hands on my neck and squeezed, so once again, I insisted on going home.
I realize now that I should end this relationship, especially since he called today to say he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again. (It probably will.) I just need your moral support and advice as to how to handle this. — Nameless, Toledo, Ohio.
NAMELESS: You are correct, and you have all of my moral support. You should stop seeing this guy immediately! He seems to be out of control and may need psychiatric help. When he hit you in the mouth, he passed the point of no return and committed what can be called a criminal act of battery.
Please talk with your parents and tell them the truth about what has happened. I also recommend filing a police report.
Please read the following letter from a young girl who had a similar experience. She will give you moral support for making the decision that you must make.
HE HIT ME TIME AFTER TIME
DR. WALLACE: I had a great boyfriend and I loved him. We were both juniors in high school and we even talked about being married after we graduated. Then one night we got into an argument and he got so mad at me that he punched me and gave me a black eye. He felt bad and cried real tears and promised that he would never do it again. Well, he never kept his promise and he hit me many times and it kept getting worse.
I thought I loved him, so, naturally, I kept forgiving him and believed his punching days were over. Then one day he started beating me and knocked me unconscious. After I woke up he cried again and swore he would never lay another finger on me.
When he took me home my dad figured out what had happened. I was out of crazy stories and lies about why I was often battered and bruised. My dad called the police and my now "ex-boyfriend" got a lengthy stay in jail.
I finally had to have corrective surgery so I could breathe out of my nose normally. The doctor told me if he had hit me a little harder I might have died.
Our family ended up moving out of town because this guy would pick fights with any guy I went out with. He could not control his temper.
So girls, if your boyfriend is beating you, please believe me, the beatings will not stop until the guy gets professional psychiatric help or goes to jail, or both. Life is too short to go through it as a punching bag. Don't wait as long as I did. Let his first punch be his last. Dump him immediately. You and your body will be the winners. — Kelly, Rye, New York.
HELP SAVE OUR PLANET!
DR. WALLACE: Our family recycles newspapers and tin cans, and we always choose paper when the clerk asks "paper or plastic?" And we also use a few tote bags to carry our groceries.
Last week when my mother and I went grocery shopping, I noticed a lady and her daughter with some really cute grocery bags. Some were made out of denim and one was a sturdy cotton one with cute designs on it. I asked the daughter where they got the cute bags. She proudly told me that she had made them in her Home Economics class! I told her that she had a super idea and that I would try this, too.
Now, I thought that you might like to suggest this to your teenage readers as well as their teachers and moms. It could even lead to a fund-raiser for the P.T.A.! — Eva, Palo Alto,Calif.
EVA: Excellent idea! Helping our environment and the P.T.A. is a wonderful "double dip."
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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