DR. WALLACE: I'm 18, and my boyfriend is a year older. We have been dating for about nine months. We went out on a blind date and hit it off quite well. For the first few months, things between us were wonderful. I even thought that he might be my future mate. Then things changed and we started disagreeing on major issues and finally disagreeing on just about everything from the presidential candidates to the value of organic foods. Jeff has good qualities and is very good-looking, but I'm getting tired of arguing with him all the time.

I've tried to talk to him regarding our many disagreements, but he just says that "People who care for each other have occasional disagreements." Trust me, our disagreements are not occasional — they are often. Is it worth trying to work things out with Jeff or am I wasting my time seeing him? I don't look forward to seeing him anymore. — Nameless, Rochester, N.Y.

NAMELESS: If the disagreements are fundamental, there's nothing to "work out." From the tone of your letter, it's clear to me that you have already answered your own question. If you don't look forward to seeing Jeff anymore, it's time to bid him goodbye and wish him well.

Breaking up is part of life. Doing so is often traumatic, but pain, alas, is part of love. And being able to maintain a loving relationship is a learned skill. The most essential ingredient in a healthy relationship is communication, says Dr. Vincent Androsiglio, a couples counselor in New Jersey. And effective communication is the result of friendship and trust, which you and Jeff have not been able to establish with each other.

I SMOKE POT IN MY ROOM

DR. WALLACE: I smoke marijuana about twice a week. My parents are aware of this and even though they don't approve, they allow me to smoke pot in my room. Their big worry is that pot will lead to hard drugs such as cocaine or heroin. This will never happen.

Please explain to them that there are many people who smoke pot who never do other drugs. My parents are faithful readers of your column. Please, no lectures on the harmful effects of smoking pot. I know all about it. I'll stop using marijuana when I decide to. I've never missed a day of school or work because of my habit. I also happen to be an honor student and a trusted, respected, part-time employee at a fast-food restaurant. — Anonymous, Las Vegas, Nev.

ANONYMOUS: According to a study conducted by a Penn State University research team, the majority of marijuana users (69 percent) do not "advance" to hard drugs, such as cocaine or heroin. But of those who presently use hard drugs, 98 percent also use, or have used, marijuana.

The study also found that regular (at least one joint per week) users of marijuana have the habit for six years before quitting. The addicted cigarette smoker continues his habit for over 20 years.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.