In last week's installment of our current series, we discussed the benefits that processing the past and working toward self-improvement can have for those with mental-health related difficulties that are looking to enter into romantic relationships. As we outlined, there are several factors to consider at that delicate point in time that deserve careful forethought and consideration. The key takeaway was to be quite deliberate and thoughtful about self-reflection in order to set up the best possible environment as a platform to proceed forward from.

Next, we'll take a look at our third suggestion on this challenging but increasingly relevant topic.

No. 3: Move toward self-disclosure and vulnerability at a safe and healthy pace

As difficult as it is to be vulnerable, most people understand how powerful true vulnerability can be. Fortunately, in recent years, the importance of mental health has become more widely acknowledged by society, and this change has accordingly encouraged many people to publicly share their personal mental health challenges.

While it is fantastic to see so many people embrace profound levels of vulnerability in an effort to destigmatize mental illness, in some cases, this trend can result in pressuring those with mental-health related issues to feel as though they must disclose all the details of their struggles to every person they know.

Although there are a variety of ways in which this level of self-disclosure can be helpful, in some contexts it may also inadvertently contradict the very message that we are aiming to promote, which is that mental health challenges need not define people. As a result, if mental health challenges are a part of your life, we recommend that you carefully consider with whom you decide to share the most intimate details of your personal story.

This being said, when it comes to dating, do not feel as though you are immediately obligated to be fully transparent about the specifics of your mental health journey. Of course, if there are safety reasons for which you feel the need to disclose this information right off the bat, or if you prefer to take a more straightforward approach, that is completely fine, but know that you have time to gradually engage in conversation about this subject matter.

Needless to say, we do not aim to promote secrecy or deception, and so if you decide to pursue a serious relationship, you will need to be honest with your partner about your mental health challenges and be willing to enter a place of emotional vulnerability.

Unless someone has fully earned your trust, however, you need not disclose anything that exceeds your level of comfort. Be brave enough to share the depths of your soul with those who truly care for you, but remember that your story is yours alone, and you get to determine how and when it will be told.

Finally, be sure to take your time as you proceed forward through the usual stages of getting to know a new potential love interest better. Don't rush things in any aspect of a romantic relationship; rather, take your time and do your best to both enjoy the process and not feel as though the process is controlling you.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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