DR. WALLACE: I'm a male high school student who's in his senior year right now. I'll turn 18 this summer and I have high hopes of going to a good college. I have a pretty good girlfriend, but she does have one major flaw in my eyes. That flaw is that she smokes cigarettes constantly! She's 17 and what's strange is several of her other girlfriends also smoke like it's going out of style!

I play on a couple of athletic teams at our school, so I don't smoke at all. In fact, I've never smoked. It's just not something I wanted to be involved with, especially due to health reasons that are so well-known these days.

My question for you is why do many teenage girls these days smoke cigarettes? I've noticed at my school that very few guys smoke, but I personally know several dozen girls who love to sneak a smoke in the bathroom or in their car between classes.

What's up with this? — Personally never puff, via email

PERSONALLY NEVER PUFF: I have read surveys over the years and been told anecdotally many reasons why teen girls opt to smoke cigarettes, at least for a brief period in their lives.

The answers range from that it provides them with a vehicle (or prop) to feel like they are more grown-up, to the age-old standby of pure peer pressure.

I've been told directly by teenage girls I've confronted on high school campuses that other reasons for doing it include feeling sophisticated and liberated. Most teens and adults who smoke these days definitely know about the long-term dangers of chronic smoking, yet they delude themselves into thinking that a little smoking here and there won't add up to much in their specific instance. However, for those who become addicted, they enter a world in which their hair, clothes and breath constantly reeks, and their oral and dental health can become quickly compromised.

You might mention to your girlfriend that smokers begin to develop facial wrinkles much sooner than nonsmokers do and that you like her pretty face just the way it is right now.

Perhaps you can suggest to her to quit smoking and that she can help you to identify an annoying habit of yours that you can commit to quitting as well. That way, you can both encourage each other and monitor your mutual progress toward your goals.

A WEDDING INVITATION CRISIS

DR. WALLACE: I was in a long-term relationship with an excellent boyfriend for over three years from the ages of 15 to 18. We finally broke up and we both attended different colleges several hundred miles apart from each other.

I'm happy to say that I am now a 23-year-old college graduate and I met another great guy at my university who is now my husband! The two of us get along great and we both have good jobs. We look forward to starting a family in a few more years.

One of my girlfriends contacted me recently to tell me that my ex-boyfriend is getting married and that she heard I would be invited to that wedding. I haven't received any invitation yet, but according to my girlfriend, they have not been mailed out yet.

This has made me a bit worried for two reasons, the first of which is I did not invite this guy to my wedding and in fact it never even crossed my mind. Second, I don't want my husband to feel awkward or uncomfortable attending this wedding with me and spending social time with my ex, a guy I haven't been in touch with for nearly five years. My best girlfriend, however, feels I'm being ridiculous, and she strongly wants me to attend the wedding with her this summer. Do you think I should go? — Quite surprised, via email

QUITE SURPRISED: I can understand why you feel surprised at the prospect of an invitation to this wedding. Five years is a long time, and you both have obviously moved on.

First of all, all of the information you have at this moment is simply hearsay via your girlfriend. Until a formal invitation arrives in the mail to you, you have not officially been invited to this wedding.

You also mentioned feeling awkward for the two reasons you outlined. I do find it peculiar that you would receive a wedding invitation after nearly five years of no direct contact with your ex-boyfriend. That might be reason enough not to attend, but your second reason resonated much more strongly with me.

You mentioned that you do not wish to make her husband feel awkward or uncomfortable attending this particular individual's wedding, so my advice to you is to not even consider doing it. Don't let your girlfriend apply peer pressure strong enough for you to ignore your inner gut feelings as they relate to your beloved husband.

If your girlfriend attends this wedding, she can tell you all about it afterward. I trust you can find pictures on social media as well. That should be more than enough to satisfy any curiosity you may personally have.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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