I'm So Stressed About My Schedule!

By Dr. Robert Wallace

February 2, 2022 5 min read

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old teen girl who feels under pressure most of the time. I'm constantly scrambling to keep up with my schoolwork, my social life and my family responsibilities.

My boyfriend is a great guy, but he puts me under a lot of stress because he always wants me to spend more social time with him. We get along great whenever we are out spending time together, but I often have a gnawing feeling in the back of my mind that I'm falling behind in other areas of my life.

I feel like a hamster on a wheel that is running and running, but never getting anywhere. Do you have any suggestions on what I might be able to do about this? — Never Enough Time, via email

NEVER ENOUGH TIME: Your situation sounds quite familiar. We've received many letters from people of all ages who are constantly concerned about not having enough time to complete everything they would like to do within a day, a week or even a month.

There are many good books and websites available to read on the topic of time management, but there is one concept in particular I have always found to be quite valuable. We all know about setting priorities, but I feel it is equally important to set posteriorities — which is a fancy way of naming and identifying commitments or actions that don't offer important long-term value to an individual.

Think of posteriorities as the things we should all cut back on, cut out entirely or even say no to from time to time. Go through your priorities and weed out anything else that could be eating up your valuable time. It's hard to cut out or cut back on certain activities, but this is essential to remaining in balance, as everyone only has 24 hours per day to work with.

I'm not saying to cut out all your time spent with your boyfriend, but perhaps see if you can spend less total time together but spend that time the best the two of you can in terms of normal guidelines you've mutually established (quality over quantity). And do the very same in each other area of your life. Seek to spend less time per activity overall but garner the most value from that time.

I'll grant you that this concept is difficult to successfully put into practice, but it's well worth the reward if you can take regular, meaningful steps toward it. Not only will you feel less stressed by regaining control of your personal schedule, but you'll also likely find that your decision-making skills will markedly improve as well, and this will help you tremendously in many aspects of your life.

I'M WORRIED OUR HOME LIFE WILL CHANGE

DR. WALLACE: I'm a girl who's 16 and I have a brother who is 12 and a sister who is 14. We've lived with our mother for the past eight years since our parents got divorced.

But now my mother plans to remarry this summer. She's been dating this man for about two years, but I don't feel that I know him all that well. This makes me nervous about living with him 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

It's not that I don't trust him or that I feel he will hurt me in any way; it's really more just the fear of the unknown. Our little family (me, my mom and my siblings) has been doing great as a unit for these past eight years and I don't want to see that become disrupted in any way.

Is there anything I can do to lessen my worries about this? — Feeling a Bit Worried, via email

FEELING A BIT WORRIED: Yes, I think you should tell your mother the same concerns you've shared with me here. Ask her to consider why you're apprehensive and ask her for her suggestions as to how to alleviate your worries a bit.

Perhaps you and your mother could sit down one day soon and come up with a family list of "ground rules" that everyone can agree on in advance. These ground rules can include decision-making, chores around the home and your social life rules as well. I always feel that it's quite important to set rules and expectations in advance of any major or important event that will bring about change. And in your case, adding another adult, especially a new stepfather, certainly qualifies as a major event.

Once your mother, yourself and your siblings can agree upon some new ground rules, then it would be time for your soon to be stepfather to be added to the next meeting so that all five of you can agree in advance what the household rules and expectations will be. I trust that if these meetings can be successfully accomplished, they will go a long way to reducing your worries about the changes that will take place this summer.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: anncapictures at Pixabay

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