DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and plan to be going to a community college this upcoming fall. I'm very insecure about this because I have a birthmark on my face, and many people who don't know me will see it.

I'm almost done with high school, and my friends don't even think about it. They accept me for who I am, and nobody gives me a hard time at all. Many of my high school friends and classmates have known me since grade school, so I have a true comfort level established with them.

I've tried to cover my birthmark up with makeup, but it still seems to show through. I hate the way I look with my birthmark when I am out in public in front of strangers, as I feel like everyone is always staring at it.

My parents are divorced, and I live with my mother. My father and I have talked about getting the birthmark removed with laser treatments, but he said he couldn't pay for it since money is so tight after he lost his restaurant job due to COVID-19.

And my mother takes the position that she won't pay for it or even allow me to have it removed because she says I was made this way and that God wanted me to have a birthmark. What do you think? I just wish I had a normal face like everyone else. — Birthmark Boy, via email

BIRTHMARK BOY: Please tell your mother that I endorse a laser treatment and removal of this unwanted birthmark. It should be pretty simple and sounds like it would make an enormous difference in your self-esteem.

A bit of logic might help you out here. For example, if you needed prescription glasses or contact lenses to read, I'm sure your mother would allow you to get them. We all have little human imperfections, and we all seek to make improvements to help us lead happier lives whenever and wherever possible. And I trust, in your situation, this should be possible. Yes, finances are an issue to deal with, but there are great ways to raise money, especially if you can gather a group of teens together to support a cause. Perhaps you could brainstorm some fundraising ideas for this purpose.

Your mother can hold off on this surgery for a while longer, but once you turn 18, you will be able to get the surgery yourself, as long as you can fund it.

WHAT WAS MY ROMANTIC FLAW?

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and was dating a girl for almost a year. I really liked her, and I thought she liked me, too. But then, out of the blue, she broke up with me last week, without any warning or notice at all. This really shocked me. I have no idea why she dumped me, and she didn't tell me anything.

Needless to say, my self-esteem took a broadside hit, and I feel like packing up my belongings and flying away to another city somewhere. I know I should be moving on, but I get up in the morning, and it's just another day that I'm feeling pretty low.

I think I must have a problem or relationship flaw that she noticed, and I want to know what it is.

I've tried calling her to ask her what it is, but she won't talk to me. What do you advise me to do? I feel that if I don't know what I did, I'll have no way to avoid doing it again in a future relationship with someone else. — Can't Move On Yet, via email

CAN'T MOVE ON YET: I advise you not to contact this girl again or seek to find out why she dumped you. The reality is that it doesn't matter, because the relationship is over. Consider her character for a moment, and then think about yours, too. Would you have ever "left her" in such a manner? Would you have given her the cold shoulder and the silent treatment?

Once you look at things through this lens, I trust you'll feel differently. She has actually done you a favor to save your time and future emotions. You are now one day closer to meeting a young lady who will treat you in a more considerate way.

Sometimes, people just aren't a match, and there isn't always a solid reason why some choose to exit a relationship by simply dropping out entirely. Some wish to avoid conflict or simply can't face a "breakup talk," but that's a very poor way to wrap things up with someone you once cared for and were friendly with.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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