DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 now and I'll turn 17 next month. My mother and father co-parent me, since they divorced long ago. Both have remarried, and I spend half the time with each family.

The problem is, neither of my parents trusts the other, and they're constantly throwing each other under the bus and blaming each other for the mistakes I've made in my life. It's true that I've gotten into some trouble with the law and at school over the last few years.

Right now, I'm in counseling, and it helps me somewhat, but even as I'm getting better at dealing with my issues, my parents are still at odds with each other. What can I do about this? — Troubled Son

TROUBLED SON: Your parents need to set their own emotions aside and make you the No. 1 priority, regardless of how upset they might be with each other that their marriage failed. Based on what you shared with me in your letter, I suggest family counseling, and the sooner the better.

Parental discord is harmful to a child, especially long-term, because it causes the child to trust only the perceptions of one parent at a time. The child learns not to trust the other one when only one parent is present and speaking poorly of the other. Even worse, in your situation, your parents both repeat the very same problem. This is extremely unhealthy. I commend you for taking action by writing to this column. Go now to a trusted adult to explain what's going on and that I've advised you to do so. This adult can be an aunt, uncle, family friend, teacher, counselor or any reasonable, stable person who can help to tactfully intervene on your behalf.

ATTACHED TO MY PHONE

DR. WALLACE: My wrist hurts me quite often, and it's probably because I'm on my phone constantly. I can't help it; I'm really bored, so I'm always on my phone looking at Instagram, reading news, playing games, doing homework, reading emails, etc. My smartphone really feels like an extension of my body! I feel naked if I go somewhere and realize I left it at home. I even canceled a date once because I forgot to take my phone with me and I didn't want to be out with a guy I didn't know too well without my phone! It's like I'm a baby and my phone is my pacifier.

What's up with my compulsion? How can I ever stop using my phone, even for a day or a few hours, when it's so fun and addicting? My best friend even got mad at me the other day when she was telling me a story about what happened on her last date. Why was she mad? Because I kept looking at my phone instead of her! — Love My Smartphone, via email

LOVE MY SMARTPHONE: Studies have indeed shown that spending too much time on your cellphone can be bad for your mental health. Adults and children often check their phone every 15 minutes or less, even if there have been no audible alerts or notifications. These phones have caused a compulsion in some people, and an overzealous "phone compulsion" interferes with the ability to focus on work, school or an important task that needs to be completed.

I suggest setting a schedule for your usage. Activate an alarm to go off after 15 minutes. During this time, do not use your phone at all, no matter what — unless a true medical or safety emergency arises. The key is to find something else engaging to do for those 15 minutes. Then, gradually increase the time in 15-minute increments until you find yourself being away from your phone for an hour or more at a time. It's important for you to start this process as soon as possible. As soon as you read this, I suggest you take your first 15-minute hiatus from holding your phone in your sore wrist.

Set a regular alarm clock or an egg timer instead of your phone for this purpose. Also, keep your phone out of your reach during the night to avoid the temptation to sneak a few more peaks at it should you have trouble falling asleep or if you awake briefly during the night.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: JESHOOTS-com at Pixabay