DR. WALLACE: I'm 12 and have a pet cat, and my 16-year-old brother insists upon feeding her table scraps when my parents aren't looking. My cat, of course, loves to get bites of meat, cheese or anything savory that has a little bit of grease on it. She stops everything and focuses on the food so much that she won't even look at me when I call her name if she's eating.

Last weekend, I got into trouble because my cat jumped up on a kitchen countertop and pulled one of the chicken breasts that my mother had ready to go in the oven down onto the floor. She tore into the meat and ate most of it before my mother came in and caught her. I got the blame for this 100%! I tried to explain to my mom that my older brother has been feeding table scraps of chicken to my cat for several months now.

I thought my mom would punish my brother, but now she makes me keep my cat in my room with the door closed when she's preparing dinner or any major meal in our house. Do you think this is fair? — It Was Not My Fault, via email

IT WAS NOT MY FAULT: I do feel your brother bears some responsibility for sure, but every cat is wired to crave delectable meats, especially bites of chicken whenever they become available. Your brother likely whetted her appetite even further, but I do agree with your mother that your cat would likely always pursue unguarded chicken once she got a whiff of the aroma.

My advice is to roll with your mother's suggestion, and be sure your room has a litter box, a water bowl and maybe some toys your cat would like to play with in case she's bored during the hour or so that goes into preparing and eating your family dinners.

HER "HASTY SAILOR" CAUSES ME A LOT OF CHAOS AND MONEY

DR. WALLACE: I'm starting to get frustrated and a bit upset with my best girlfriend. We are both 20 years old and we've known each other since grade school. I've had a steady boyfriend for the past four years, but she's been in and out of several relationships during that time.

We live near the ocean in a state that is not that vastly populated, so she feels they're not many good dating options for her in our area. She uses this excuse to justify the fact that she opts to hang out with a guy I call a "hasty sailor" because he works as a fisherman on a boat that launches out of the harbor five miles down the road from where we live.

The reason I use the word hasty is that he doesn't keep in touch with her at all while he's at sea, but then he'll suddenly show up and be in a great rush to spend time with her, sometimes only for a day or two! Then he'll be off to sea sometimes for up to 4 to 6 weeks at a time! Whenever this happens, no matter what plans she and I have made, she drops everything, ghosts me, and runs immediately to him for the duration of his stay in our local port. Sometimes these cancellations have interrupted planned vacations she and I had, expensive concert tickets, or dinner reservations, and so forth. No matter what it is, she'll simply look at me and say the same six words ... "I'll make it up to you."

She does pay me back for any lost money she has caused me. If, for example, I bought the concert tickets, she will pay me for her unused ticket. But if I can't find anyone to use that ticket either, I have to go to the concert alone, which I do not like at all, or simply lose my money on my ticket by not going to the concert either. What can I do? I don't want to disown her as a friend, but their "hasty" act has grown very thin and tiring with me. — She's at His Beck and Call, via email

SHE'S AT HIS BECK AND CALL: I feel the easiest thing to do at this point would be to be very direct and very honest with her. Let her know that she'll always be your good friend, but that you're tired of having to not only cancel plans that were made well in advance, but sometimes to suffer financial losses due to her changing her plans on a minute's notice.

Therefore, simply tell her that in the future, any plans the two of you make that involve spending money on tickets or dinner gift certificates and the like, she's going to be financially responsible for in advance. Tell her that on the day of the event, you'll bring your portion to her. But be clear to her that if she chooses to cancel plans in the future after she's purchased tickets, she will be responsible for either letting them both go to waste or finding another buyer. Be pleasant with her as you explain this and tell her that your blood pressure will go down greatly if she can accommodate you in this manner!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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