DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old guy who has a crush on a girl in one of my classes. I've told my friends about this, and all of them recommend that I message the girl that I like through Instagram. At my high school, it's really common for girls and guys to follow each other's Instagram accounts and to flirt by sending messages back and forth. The problem with this is that I don't post to my Instagram account frequently, so all of my photos are out-of-date and don't showcase the best version of myself.

Should I take a risk and message my crush now, or should I invest time into uploading new photos, gaining more followers and making my account look more polished and impressive first? I'll readily admit that I'm not into social media too much. — Social-media challenged, via email

SOCIAL-MEDIA CHALLENGED: Though this might surprise you, I actually advise you to not act on either strategy you mentioned in your inquiry. If you really like this girl and want to make a lasting impression on her, strike up a conversation with her in person. You mentioned that the girl you like is in one of your classes, so why not talk to her after class or invite her to an upcoming social gathering or sporting event? You could even ask her to study with you after class one day.

While messaging over a screen probably feels a lot less nerve-wracking than communicating with your crush face to face, it's also more ordinary and forgettable. If it's common for girls and guys at your school to flirt with each other over Instagram, then don't you think there's a good chance that she's already received similar messages from several guys? I can guarantee you, however, that few, if any, of the guys that have messaged her online have approached her in person and introduced themselves with integrity and confidence.

Don't waste time curating your social media platform to impress other people. Instead, invest your time and energy into creating a life for yourself that makes you proud. Regardless of its supposed influence and mass appeal, the world of social media rarely translates to the real world. If you can impress a girl on Instagram but you can't hold a conversation with her in real life, then what's the point? Proceed as you wish, but in my opinion, you may not be ready for a real relationship if you are not willing to use the in-person opportunities you have to get to know this girl to your advantage.

OUR TEACHER OFTEN MAKES INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS

DR. WALLACE: My friends and I are very happy to finally be back at school in person after this whole pandemic situation with all of the remote learning and so on. However, we have a new teacher at our school who is younger than most of the other teachers, and it's quite obvious that he is more inexperienced than the other teachers we are used to.

We don't mind his inexperience as much as we mind his recurring off-color comments and often rude quips to people who walk into class 20 seconds late, or those who don't immediately answer questions he throws out to certain individuals during our class. He sometimes even curses and he often needles students who don't respond to him exactly how he wishes them to.

If it only happened one or two times during a week, we would likely all let it go, but it seems like every day he makes at least four to five comments we all feel are beyond inappropriate. It's quite uncomfortable being in this class every day now because of this. Is there anything we can do about this, or are we just being overly sensitive and we should just resign ourselves to having to deal with it? — Concerned student, via email

CONCERNED STUDENT: I've heard of similar situations like this before, and in fact even encountered a similar situation once during my time as a high school administrator.

Since your letter outlines what appears to be a series of ongoing inappropriate comments, this behavior should be quickly stopped. Your fellow students and you can take the first step yourselves. Get together with two or three of who you believe to be your most credible and responsible fellow students and approach this teacher quietly after class. Simply mention to him that you enjoy the class and appreciate his efforts to teach you the subject matter at hand but that you feel some of his comments are out of bounds and should not be said in a classroom. Give him specific examples and explain honestly and directly why you feel they're inappropriate.

Hopefully, his reaction will be one in which he may agree to adjust his dialogue to a more suitable level within the classroom. But if his unsavory behavior subsequently persists, you are then well within your rights to approach the school administration and explain the situation to them. I feel it's a courtesy to approach this teacher directly yourselves if you are comfortable doing so as a starting point. You can also involve your parents and the parents of your fellow students if necessary, but hopefully, this situation can be resolved amicably before that becomes necessary. In any case, I don't advise that you feel you have to simply ignore his comments and deal with them every day.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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