DR. WALLACE: My best friend and I started our freshman year of college at the same university last year. We were so excited to go to college together because we bonded in high school and have been inseparable ever since. Recently, however, my friend has not been acting like her usual self and has been dabbling in some risky behavior. Within the last couple of months, she has called me drunk several times, asking me to come pick her up from different guys' houses in the middle of the night.

It's not like her to be partying so much and hooking up with strangers. Am I right to be worried about her? And if so, what should I do? — Concerned friend, via email

CONCERNED FRIEND: It sounds like you have very good reason to be worried about your friend. As I'm sure you know, it's not safe for her to be going to the houses of random men in the middle of the night, especially in an intoxicated state. I imagine her recent behavior has put a significant strain on the friendship that exists between the two of you as well, as I'm guessing that you don't enjoy having to wake up in the middle of the night to deal with her drunken mishaps.

I recommend that you and your friend plan a time to have a private conversation and catch up with each other, maybe over lunch or coffee. Use this time to ask your friend about how she has been feeling lately and what is going on in her life. Ease your way into talking about her recent risky behavior but don't be afraid to be direct about how concerned you are about her and how much her behavior has been disturbing you. Let her know that while her safety is of the utmost importance to you, calling you for rides home in the middle of the night is not something she can continue to do without straining your friendship.

Above everything else, however, be sure to let your friend know that you are there for her and that she can always come to you about anything that might be bothering her or causing her distress. This does not mean that you must tolerate being at her beck and call in the middle of the night, but engaging in risky behavior is often a sign that something else is going on in someone's life, so you want to make sure that if your friend is struggling, she knows she has someone she can turn to for help. Finally, if you ever feel that your friend is truly in danger in any way, do not hesitate to reach out for professional help and emergency resources should they be necessary.

MOM LIKED MY 'STATUS' BOYFRIEND BETTER

DR. WALLACE: My mother is unhappy with my current boyfriend, and she reminds me of this every chance she gets. It doesn't make sense since my current boyfriend is really nice and he respects me very well. Beyond that he's even very polite to both of my parents at all times.

My mom really liked my previous boyfriend, and I think it's because his parents were quite wealthy and he had a nice car and nice clothes whenever he came over to pick me up for a date. My mother always said we looked like a perfect couple together. But my previous boyfriend was a scoundrel behind the scenes as he lied to me constantly and even dated other girls behind my back, despite telling me we were going steady together.

I really like my current boyfriend much more than I ever liked the previous one, but my mother doesn't like his homemade clothes or his lack of social status. What can I do to get my mom to understand that I'm happier now than I've ever been? — Much happier now, via email

MUCH HAPPIER NOW: My advice is to encourage your boyfriend and your mother to interact more often, so that your mom can see what a great guy he truly is. Perhaps the two of you could invite your mother on a hike on a Saturday afternoon, for example. Hopefully, during the 30 or 40 minutes you are out taking a walk together, your mom might begin to understand his personality better and what attracts you to him.

It's your life and your relationship after all, so I heartily encourage you to continue enjoying time together with your new boyfriend no matter what your mother says or does. Hopefully, your mom will eventually come around, but even if she doesn't, remain polite when discussing him with her and simply smile and remind her how much better he treats you than your previous boyfriend did.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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