DR. WALLACE: I'm a junior in college, and recently in one of my business classes, my professor started lecturing about how people of my generation present themselves in a lazy and sloppy fashion most of the time and no longer dress for success. He even mentioned that he thinks it's inappropriate that many of us students wear sweatpants and baggy clothes to class.

I feel like what he said is unfair because it's not like attending his class is equivalent to attending a job interview. I always make sure to "dress for success" when going to important events, but it's normal for college students to wear comfy and casual clothing to classes these days. Is my professor just out of touch with the times? — Feeling offended, via email

FEELING OFFENDED: While there might be some truth behind what your professor was trying to say, I agree that the way in which he said it sounds rather demeaning. As you mentioned, it's important to dress well for major events such as job interviews because putting thought into the way you present yourself communicates how much you value the undertaking.

Perhaps your professor feels as though his students do not value their education enough to come to class in decent attire, and that is frustrating to him. A student may not feel that wearing sweatpants to class has any effect on their ability to learn, but your professor may interpret it as a sign of disrespect and carelessness. You are right that these differences in perspective are most likely generational to some extent, as dress code norms have changed significantly across the decades.

Although your professor should not have approached this topic from a position of judgment and ridicule, I still encourage you to consider his perspective. The truth is that the way in which you present yourself to the world does matter, as it sends a message to those around you about the kind of person you are. I don't believe that anyone is expecting you to wear a dress suit to class every day, but maybe consider swapping the sweatpants or pajama bottoms for a nice pair of jeans. Not only will this communicate to others that you have enough self-respect to make yourself look presentable but you may also discover that it is easier to remain focused and productive throughout the day when you are properly dressed.

HE BRINGS HER UP CONSTANTLY!

DR. WALLACE: I have a pretty good boyfriend but there is one thing about him that does bother me quite a bit. He often mentions his ex-girlfriend, but not in a way that he misses seeing her, just that certain things remind him of places they went together.

For example, we went to see a music concert together last weekend and he had to bring up which other music shows he has seen in the past with her, and which venues they attended previously. Last summer, we traveled to a recreational lake area about an hour from our city, and he again brought up his girlfriend and how many times they visited the same lake. This drives me crazy!

How can I get him to stop talking about all the things he and his ex-girlfriend did together? Don't get me wrong, she is now dating someone else and he is very good to me, but his constant reminders of their past time together don't sit well with me. — Don't want to hear about her, via email

DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HER: Tell him this directly! Be calm and look him in the eyes and tell him how much you care for him. Explain how you would never constantly bring up in front of him your times spent with previous boyfriends.

Tell him your goal in the relationship is to get along great with him, and that if he shares a reciprocal goal, you can improve things immediately by cutting out the past discussions involving her. If he wants to mention he has visited certain places before, tell him that's fine but don't always raise her name in each instance.

If he truly cares for you, this should be an easy adjustment for him. Thank him in advance and let him know if there's some similar thing you can do that will help strengthen your relationship, and that you are absolutely open to making similar adjustments yourself.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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