DR. WALLACE: Our school has a very good basketball team. Our coach is quite strict and has a lot of rules our players must follow. One of them is that the players are not allowed to drink alcohol.

Last night, I went to a friend's birthday party, and with my own eyes, I saw three basketball players drinking beer. There were about 50 or 60 people at the party, so I was really surprised they would drink in front of so many people, some of whom they didn't know at all! So, when I went home, I told my parents what I saw, and my mother said it was my duty to tell the coach and give him the names of the beer drinkers. My dad told me I should mind my own business and keep my "big mouth" shut. I do tend to blab a bit. Personally, I think that I should tell the coach, but then again, I'm not really sure. I really don't want to get mixed up in the middle of this. Do you agree? — Saw Too Much, via email

SAW TOO MUCH: The players were indeed in violation of team rules and used extremely poor judgment. Your coach should be aware that some of the team's players are breaking team rules.

I suggest you write an unsigned note to the coach informing him that several team members were drinking at a party and that you personally observed them violating team rules. Do not mention any names, but do give the time, date and location of this party. After you send this message, forget the incident, and under no circumstance should you discuss this with any other student at your school. Keep this matter to yourself.

'YES, DAD; NO, MOM' IS MUCH WARMER IN THE HOME

DR. WALLACE: I was not in agreement with your answer to the fellow whose dad was an officer in the U. S. Army. He wanted to know if he should answer his parents with "ma'am or "sir" when addressing them in their home, and you told him you didn't think it was necessary within the family.

Well, I was raised in the South, and my parents didn't insist that I say "Yes, ma'am" or "No, sir," as long as I answered promptly and politely. But at school, "Yes, sir," and "No, ma'am" were requirements on campus.

I was back in my home state this past summer, and I enjoyed hearing "Yes, sir; no, sir; yes, ma'am; no, ma'am" wherever I went, in all the homes and businesses.

The parents of the boy who wrote you are trying to teach him respect, and it seems to me that you're tearing it down. You might be implying that children don't have to show their parents and teachers respect.

I enjoy your column and agree with you most of the time, but I think you may be off base this time. Thanks for listening. — Don't Agree on This One, via email

DON'T AGREE: I agree that "Yes, sir" and "Yes, ma'am" are proper ways to address others with respect and that parents should make their children aware of these words and how they are used.

However, I do disagree that "Yes, sir" and "Yes, ma'am" be mandatory when children speak to parents, especially in a family home. "Yes, Mom" or "No, Dad" are much warmer and more personal responses. This is but my own personal opinion, and I respect the opinions of others regarding this matter, including yours. I respect your right to disagree with my advice, and I thank you for taking the time to both read this column and reply to it.

I do agree with you on one item here: Whenever addressing a parent or a teacher, a young person should do so with respect — no matter which words they are using.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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