Dear Family Coach: My 15-year-old refuses to part with her cell phone at night. She insists she needs to use it as her alarm clock. She is a real pain to get up in the morning, so I have allowed it. But I've figured out that she is using the phone late into the night — sometimes even answering texts at 3 in the morning. I want to take the phone out of her room but she is protesting fiercely. Is this worth the fight? — Out of Our Element Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad: If you believe that story about the alarm clock, I have a very special bridge to sell you. Teenagers have the ability to contrive an endless list of reasons why they just have to have their phone in their room. As you have probably already surmised, it is nearly impossible for teens (and many adults) to put their phones down. Ever. If it buzzes they must respond. If they have a millisecond of sleeplessness they turn to social media. Before you know it, an already sleep-deprived teen is now operating on fumes. And I can assure you that nothing good comes from interacting with one's peers in the middle of the night.

Of course your daughter is protesting fiercely. She can sense she is on the verge of convincing you to give up. And it is working. You are debating whether this fight is even worth it. Well, it is. After an initial war, your daughter will see resistance is futile and let it go. What you need to do is come up with a time after which her phone must be turned off. Silencing a cell phone is important, because it prevents a teenager from leaping, Pavlov-like, every time it dings, beeps or chimes. Watch carefully and you will see your daughter become more relaxed at bedtime and better rested in the morning.

Dear Family Coach: We adopted our 8-year-old son at birth. We have explained to him in basic terms why his parents gave him up. They were a sweet couple, but unable to properly care for their children. After two of their children were permanently removed from their home and they were pregnant with another, they decided to give us our son. How do we continue to talk about his birth parents in more detail without hurting him? — Blessed Dad

Dear Blessed: It is clear that your son is very much loved and wanted in your home. You see him as a precious gift. That feeling is probably evident in the way you speak of his birth parents. That isn't a small or unimportant detail. Yes, his parents weren't able to provide for him due to deficits they had. But they cared about finding a loving family that could offer what they couldn't.

Vernacular has changed over the years in the way we discuss adoption. It is better to say your son was "placed" in your family by his birth parents as oppose to "given up." Also, there is no shame is the decision to place a child for adoption. It is a loving act. If you talk about it with that tone, and discuss it regularly, it should become easier for your son to ask questions and process answers. Over the years your son will be curious about his birth parents and his genetics. Give him whatever information you have as he becomes ready for it. Most importantly, remind him that he is loved.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Carol VanHook