Dear Family Coach: My wife and I brought our newborn home a few weeks ago. For the first few days our toddler was great. But as the days go by she is acting out more and more. She whines and throws food. Her tantrums are increasing, and she isn't very nice to my wife. She seems to like the baby, so I am not sure why she is behaving like this. What's going on? — Perplexed Daddy

Dear Perplexed: Your daughter's behavior is fairly typical for the transition of adding another child to the family. Let's go through a little thought exercise. Imagine that after a few years of marriage your wife decided to bring home another husband. She told you how much you will love this guy and how you will become best friends. No matter how much you love your wife, do you really want to share her?

Well, bringing home a new baby isn't exactly what your toddler had in mind. Sure, she may love the baby. But she doesn't love the time the baby takes away from her. She doesn't want to share her mommy and daddy.

Here's what you do. Start with a little empathy and understanding; this is a difficult time. Cut your daughter a break when you can. Enforce a little less, and loosen up a little more. At the same time, don't give in to every whine. Try to keep the day as structured as it was before the baby came along, and don't give in to negotiation, otherwise you will create a demanding little person who can get whiny and unreasonable.

Your daughter is looking for reassurance that she will still receive the attention she needs. So supply that attention as much as you can. My guess is she is acting out more toward Mommy because she is breastfeeding and you are taking on more responsibilities. Give your wife and daughter some special time. And give your daughter time to adjust, and this should pass.

Dear Family Coach: Sometimes I get so busy with work during the day that I don't have time to do errands. When I pick up my son and tell him we have to go to the market, he gets upset. He always asks me why I can't do the errands before I get him. I try to explain that I work, but he doesn't really get it. How can I help him understand that I can't always get everything done during school hours? — Running-On-Empty Mom

Dear Mom: What a lovely job you have done pampering your son. He has no idea what you do in order to clothe him, feed him, pay the mortgage and bake cupcakes for his birthday party. He assumes you have nothing to do all day. This has done both of you a disservice.

On a day when you are not bringing him along for an errand, have a talk with him about your life as a working mom. Explain why you work and how you get work done. Are you up late at night finishing work? Do you cram everything in before pickup and barely have a minute to use the toilet? Tell him all about it. Be perfectly clear.

After that's done, explain all that you do to ensure the family affairs run smoothly. This is when you mention Target and the supermarket and the special trips to Trader Joe's to pick up the specific waffles he likes. Don't forget about the drug store, paying bills and scheduling everyone's doctor's visits and birthday parties.

When you are done telling him about your life, ask him what he can do to contribute to the family. Then let him do what he can. I doubt you will hear much complaining after that.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.