Dear Family Coach: My 15-year-old son recently came out to me. I'm completely supportive of him. However, my husband was raised by extremely homophobic parents, and he still doesn't understand that being gay isn't a choice. My son asked me not to tell my husband. I am weary of keeping this secret. But I also want to help preserve my son's relationship with his father. What should I do? — Stuck-in-the-Middle Mom

Dear Mom: It should be seen as a testament to your relationship with your son that he felt comfortable coming out to you. No matter how supportive you may appear, it can still be quite scary for some kids. That fear is obviously alive and well concerning his father, maybe for good reason. However, keeping this secret will not help you or your son with respect to the relationship you both have with your husband.

I would never advocate for outing someone. It is a personal decision that should be left up to the individual. Therefore, I would keep the secret. But I wouldn't just leave it there. If your son doesn't tell his father the truth, the fear and anxiety will only build. When it finally comes out — and it will eventually — the secret only increases the chances Dad will feel like he has been lied to. Not a good way to break the news.

I recommend helping your son come to terms with the fact that his father may struggle to accept the news. Let him know that you will continue to support him and find your family any help it might need to process a fallout. It is also possible that you are not giving Dad enough credit. Many people who don't understand homosexuality can become surprisingly supportive once a family member comes out. Let's hope Dad is one of those people.

Dear Family Coach: My daughter is 7 years old. She took a gymnastics class that ran once a week for an hour, and she loved it. Her teacher recommended her for the advanced class, which is 90 minutes long and more intense. Now, as we approach week seven of the 10-week program, her joy has clearly faded. Would it be wrong to put her back in the regular class? — Nadia's Dad

Dear Dad: Your daughter is 7. Even if she is incredibly talented, there is no point in pushing her into the advanced class. If you demand that she meet her ability in this area, I can almost guarantee that in a few more sessions you will have an impossible time getting her to class.

I assume you signed her up to have fun and get some exercise. At her age, I doubt the goal was to make her the next Gabby Douglas. Parents often push their kids too far in sports. It is just so tempting. Little Jenny, your daughter's friend, is moving up to the advanced level, so your daughter does, too. Your son's pal is probably trying out for the travel baseball team at age 9, so you start to wonder whether Junior will flounder in the local recreation league without his chums. The opportunities to kill all the enjoyment in sports are vast. Resist the urge to be swept up in the hysteria. If it isn't fun, don't do it. If you follow this simple maxim, you will always know what to do.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.