Dear Family Coach: My toddler often throws a fit at the table. He drops his cup and plate and fusses over what I serve him. I like to have a family meal with my husband and son but it is getting difficult because of his behavior. What can I do to teach my son to behave at the table? —Messy Meal Mama

Dear Messy: When your toddler protests his food, he is trying to convey a few thoughts to you without words. I'm going to translate his actions so you know how to handle them.

If your son eats a bit or just plays with the food, he isn't hungry. Maybe he ate several snacks or had a large milk before the meal, so he's not interested in the food. If this is the case, take away his food. Give him a few toys at the table if you still want to sit together as a family, or let him get out of his seat to play nearby.

Alternatively, your son is complaining about the chicken nuggets that he asked for simply to get a rise out of you. He has learned that his eating is important to you and he can get you to do a lot and give him loads of attention when he acts like he won't eat. So how do you handle this behavior? Simple: Ignore it. A child who is using inappropriate behavior to push your buttons should not be engaged. Instead, busy yourself with getting the rest of the food on the table or by talking with your partner or humming a Taylor Swift song. As soon as you stop giving your son attention about his eating he might decide to break away from the battle of wills and just eat. And as soon as your little guy stops fussing about the food, reengage him by playing a game at the table or talking to Daddy about what you did that day.

It's important to note that if your son chooses to tantrum and not eat, he will have to go a little hungry. Don't make him something special after he protests or he will see that as an effective strategy to avoid eating certain foods.

Dear Family Coach: My 12-year-old daughter wants to shave her legs. I don't want her to do it because once you start you have to keep it up. I feel she is too young to have to start maintaining herself in this way. Is it wrong to tell her she cannot shave? —Groomer

Dear Groomer: Well, it isn't wrong to say she can't shave. And you are correct that once you start, it can be an annoying part of the upkeep routine for most women. But the truth is she is capable of disobeying you easily at the next sleepover. If a friend is shaving she might decide just to do it, too.

Instead of laying down an arbitrary age for when it is appropriate to shave, have an open conversation with your daughter about her thoughts — and yours — on shaving. Maybe the hair is causing her serious distress in the locker room and she would feel much better shaving it. Or maybe she is just trying to follow her friends. When she hears how annoying it can be to have to shave regularly, she might decide on her own to hold off. Backing off a bit and giving her space to make her own decision is warranted here. Also, this isn't a life or death decision. Either way, she will be OK.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.