Dear Family Coach: My teenage daughter is a slob. She drops her stuff all over the house and "forgets" to clean up after herself. Her room is also a disaster. I generally allow her to keep her belongings in a manner she sees fit. If they are a mess, that's her problem. But sometimes she forgets to bring her instrument or important homework to school. Since I care about her grades, I usually deliver the items to her at school. What's the best way to help her overcome her disorganization so it doesn't impact her ability to succeed in school and life? — Messed Up's Mom

Dear Mom: Your daughter's disorganization isn't getting in the way of her success right now. But your intervention might be. I commend you for stepping back and allowing her to live in a mess, if she so chooses. The constant arguments are tiring. However, you are enabling her behavior by rescuing her at the first sign of trouble. When her disorganization causes her to forget things, you rush to the rescue. It's true that if you don't deliver her work, she might receive a less-than-perfect grade. But the sting of the grade might propel her to be better-organized next time.

Continue to give your daughter the freedom to care for her own belongings. But when she falters, let her suffer the consequences. Sit her down and explain that you will no longer help her if she forgets her lunch, homework, instrument or gym uniform. Let her call you mean and whatever other names she chooses. The more upset she becomes, the higher the likelihood she will remember to take better care of her belongings.

Dear Family Coach: My 2-year-old son is quite the hugger. He hugs friends and family members, which is usually fine. But he also hugs complete strangers, even when it isn't wanted or reciprocated. I don't want to discourage my boy from being loving, but I often get uncomfortable looks from other parents. I fear he is a bother at times. Should we discipline this behavior or leave it alone? — Hugger's Dad

Dear Dad: You've created a little lover. He just wants to spread some love in this world. Nothing is wrong with that. But his tactics might be problematic and deserve some attention.

At age 2, your son isn't adept at managing emotions and impulses. If he feels happy and loving, he wants to show it. He can't imagine a world where someone wouldn't want a hug from an adorable little guy such as himself. Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, not everyone wants a hug.

While you clearly don't want to squash his loving nature, it is important to teach him about boundaries. Start by making a game out of hugging in which hugs are only allowed if you ask and receive permission first. Let him go first. Exaggerate the hugs if he asks properly, and make a big joke of it if he tries to hug without asking. Laugh, and say: "Oh, no, you forgot to ask. No hug." Then, try hugging him without asking. Be silly but firm. No hugs without permission. Once your son has the hang of asking permission, talk to him about cues. Show him examples of signs that people may not want a hug. He should eventually get the idea without sacrificing an ounce of his loving personality.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.