Dear Family Coach: My mother invited all of the family to come home this Thanksgiving. One family member requested that no one wear red, as her son has an extreme reaction causing panic, screaming and the urge to run away. The boy has some psychiatric issues and possibly autism. The problem is that my wife likes to wear very brightly colored attire. My mother doesn't want to have to make this accommodation, and neither do I. Are we expected to accommodate his color issues, or should we use the tough love approach? — Not Buying It

Dear NBI: Your mother has invited all the family home for the holidays. How nice for everyone to be together. That was probably her thought before hearing about the boy with some troubles. What she really meant was it would be great if everyone could join me for Thanksgiving, but not if it means we have to accommodate a child who has some struggles.

That's too bad. I understand it can be inconvenient to have to choose something different to wear, or to minimize decorations, or to adhere to dietary restrictions. It might even be a bit disappointing. But you have to make that accommodation for one afternoon. Try to be a little empathetic here — this family has to make special arrangements constantly. Children with special needs and their parents are often excluded from birthday parties, school events and family functions simply because the environment might be too difficult for the child to navigate. The isolation and exhaustion without any help from neighbors and family can be excruciating. And it's not as if the parents are responsible for this issue, or that it can be solved with some tough love.

The answer to your question is clear. For one special day, make this family feel like part of something bigger. Show them that you won't turn your back on them and their children even if they don't fit the mold. Why not take it a step further and ask them how else you could help make their visit comfortable. On Thanksgiving, or any other day, it's the right way to go.

Dear Family Coach: Our daughter just turned 10 months old, and she's not close to crawling. I feel that we didn't do enough tummy time as a small infant because she would do a face plant and we'd get nervous. She rolls over with no problem and has started to hang out on her stomach. But then gets tired and flips over on her back and squirms around the floor. I know every kid is different, but I was wondering if there is anything we can do to encourage our daughter to crawl? — Clueless New Parent

Dear Clueless: You aren't actually clueless. You are a brand-new parent taking care of a brand-new little human. There is so much to learn, and you mostly learn as you go.

Knowing when milestones are predicted can help parents understand what to expect and know how to look out for any difficulties. But you're right — every child is different, and there is a range of what is typical. Babies generally crawl between six to nine months. However, some children do a sit shuffle. Still, some babies skip crawling altogether and just start walking.

Your child is rolling without an issue. That's terrific. If she doesn't show any other signs of a delay, I wouldn't worry. Nevertheless, it isn't too late to build up muscles to help her crawl. Try to have tummy time many times throughout the day. It is better to give short stints of practice rather than a few longer bouts on the belly. Also allow your daughter to attempt to work through a little frustration. Parents often quickly swoop in to rescue a grunting baby rather than let the child work it out. After a minute or two of grunting, put the baby in a different position.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.