Dear Family Coach: My husband and I are both immigrants who didn't grow up in America. Now, we are raising two boys in the public school system. We worry that we don't know how to protect them against drugs or outside influences because we don't even know much about the influences in this country. How can we talk to our sons about drugs and keep them safe? — Worried Parents

Dear Worried: Drugs are in every school and every community in America. Neither being in a great school district nor living in a wealthy neighborhood protects kids from this threat. There are, however, things that parents can do.

Start by talking to your sons in an age-appropriate way about the dangers of drugs. Explain addiction and what can happen to people who are impaired by drugs and alcohol. Discuss drunk driving, overdosing and the loss of dreams and goals. Nothing is wrong with finding someone famous to use as an example of the perils of drug use, from Dwight Gooden to Amy Winehouse. Also, talk about the distinction between street drugs and prescriptions drugs, and explain how even drugs authorized by doctors can be misused.

Next, find ways to keep the lines of communication open between you and your boys. Ask questions about school, and expand them beyond "How was your day?" Ask about their friends. Ask whether anyone they know smokes. As your children get older, ask whether they know anyone who does drugs or whether anyone has offered them drugs. The chances are very high that, at some point, they will be exposed to drugs. Plan for it. Think about how to respond, and support good choices. Use role playing to practice different scenarios, and do so time and time again as they age.

Remember not to freak out if your children tell you that someone offered them drugs. Praise them for coming to you, and solve the issue together. Helping your children stay away from drugs won't happen in just one conversation. Be prepared to have this conversation often, for many years to come.

Dear Family Coach: My 9-year-old son hates going to his sister's weekly gymnastics class, and he routinely fusses over it. My daughter attends numerous weekly soccer practices for him and makes the best of it. How can I get him to stop complaining when it's his turn to wait around? — Complainer's Dad

Dear Dad: I'm probably not supposed to admit this in a newspaper column, but, well, I'm not a huge fan of sitting around in a small waiting area while my kids take some class, either. I can understand where your son is coming from. It's boring and uneventful and slightly more exciting than drying dishes. But being part of a family means everyone makes occasional sacrifices or allowances for one another. This is his chance to do good for the family.

To abate his complaining, start by empathizing with him. Sometimes, parents forget to acknowledge a less-than-stellar situation. This is a mistake. If your son is at least heard, he might feel less annoyed. Next, find something for him to do during those classes. Bring games or art supplies to pass the time. Create contests, or play hide-and-seek around the gym. Be creative. Make sure you aren't using that time to finish a work call or read your book. Try engaging your son and making the time fun for both of you. Oh, and don't forget a snack, if the timing is right.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.