Dear Family Coach: When my daughter was a toddler she had difficulty with gross motor skills. She fell down and was very clumsy. As a result of my overprotection, she is now incredibly cautious. I wish she could approach life with more curiosity and vigor instead of playing it safe. Is it possible to redirect my daughter, who's now entering middle school, from being too cautious? — Cautious Dad

Dear Cautious: Some people enjoy life with reckless abandon and throw caution to the wind. These people often fly without a safety net and deal with the consequences as they come. Other people prefer to assess every situation and make more calculated decisions about risk and reward. Both types of people are able to be successful and lead happy lives. However, there are times when people, including children, can become too cautious for their own good. They bypass opportunities because of irrational concern for safety.

Although safety was clearly reinforced when your daughter was little, it isn't too late to help her break out of her comfort zone. Find areas where your daughter exudes confidence, and build on them. Help her push her limits slowly by encouraging bigger and bigger leaps of faith. Also, teach her the art of positive self-talk. For years she has heard you saying, "Be careful." Now, teach her to tell herself, "You can do this." She is the one who will need to past those mental hurdles. This is an important life skill you can help her learn. Every time your daughter conquers a fear, celebrate the feat, even if it seems miniscule.

Dear Family Coach: Should my child's allowance be a right or something they earn for doing chores around the house? — Fiscally Responsible

Dear Responsible: Well, there are certainly valid arguments on both sides. However, I favor an allowance given without children having to work for it.

An allowance isn't a right, and therefore it can be taken away at any time. But giving children money without strings attached has its benefits. Children don't run off to college with an automatic understanding of how to manage money. That's a skill learned over time by actually practicing managing money.

Children should do chores sans pay because every member of the family needs to take some responsibility for maintaining the house. You aren't paid to do the dishes and laundry, and you shouldn't pay your children to do it either. Furthermore, when an allowance is tied to completing household chores, a child might choose to skip the money to avoid the work. That's a double loss for the parents: The child doesn't learn about money management, and the chore doesn't get done.

When children have their own money, parents are blessed with the ability to avoid funding every whim. Imagine that your child begs for the hottest item that all their peers have. If he receives an allowance, you can tell him to use his own money to buy it. I promise you he suddenly won't need the item as desperately as before. He will think long and hard about whether the purchase is worth it.

Life is full of financial choices. If I buy this, then I won't be able to afford that. It's better your child learns this lesson now, versus possibly accruing insane amounts of credit card debt by age 18. Don't muddle the lessons by requiring chores for the money. There's enough to learn without the complication.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.