Dear Family Coach: I'm a divorced mom with a 10-year-old son. The arrangement with my ex is my son switches houses every weekend. He often forgets something inconsequential like a uniform or a book at one place or the other. Whenever I get frustrated with him, he tells me I don't understand how hard it is to have divorced parents because my parents are still married. I feel he uses the divorce as an excuse and tries to make me feel guilty. How can I respond to him without sounding insensitive? — Mom Not Buying It

Dear Mom: I think it's possible your son is making excuses and having divorced parents is hard. Organization isn't always a strong suit for a 10-year-old. Add an additional home with twice as much to keep orderly and you have recipe for constant misplacement of important items. Imagine you had to travel for work every single week. Don't you think you might forget a thing or two along the way?

Before doing anything about the missing items, take a moment to listen to your son. He is trying to tell you that having divorced parents isn't always rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes it's inconvenient. Sometimes it's frustrating. And I bet sometimes it's upsetting. Don't try to talk him out of that. Listen and show him some empathy. He didn't ask for this situation.

It might be helpful to create a checklist that stays attached to his backpack so he can remember important items. Try to have a specific place for belongings that go back and forth to each house, preferably near the door. Then work on a reward system for if he makes it to your house or school with everything he needs. Don't make a big deal if he forgets. Instead, focus on rewarding him for being on top of it all. Lastly, I wouldn't rush to bring him items he forgets. If possible, let him feel the frustration of not having those items. He might just remember them next time.

Dear Family Coach: The other day, my family went out to a restaurant for dinner. My 1-year-old was strapped in a highchair when she choked on a pea. We wrestled her out of her chair and patted her back. The pea flew out. Now I'm petrified every time she eats. And I blame myself for giving her the pea. How can I get over this? — Frightened Mama

Dear Mama: It's normal to still be anxious about your daughter's eating. That must have been an extremely scary incident. It sounds like you sprang into action and that helped to resolve the situation. This should give you some comfort.

This might have just been a freakish incident. But just to be on the safe side, you might feel better having a doctor or speech therapist assess her chewing and swallowing. Also, taking a CPR class might make you feel even more confident to handle issues that might arise.

However, the truth is children sometimes choke or fall down or bump into the corner of the table. Scary things happen to children even if we are incredibly conscientious. If you feel your anxiety isn't improving or is becoming worse as the weeks go by, it might be wise to contact a therapist to help you deal with your concerns.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.