Dear Family Coach: I hate my son's girlfriend. That's not a hyperbole — I really hate her. She stands for everything we are against. She is lazy and greedy, and she takes advantage of my son's big heart. I've tried to steer him away from her, but nothing is working. How can I help him see her destructive ways? — Mad Mom

Dear Mad Mom: If only you could pick your son's girlfriends and wife. Wouldn't that be grand? No, it wouldn't. Your son is not you. He has to discover, through experience, what works for him and what doesn't. It is unfortunate that you don't enjoy his current girlfriend. I can only imagine how hard it is to be welcoming to a lazy, greedy girl. But it is really up to your son to discover her true colors.

You might be right that this girl is all wrong for him. But maybe he sees past these ugly traits and sees her inner beauty. Maybe she loves him and showers him with affection. That could be even more important to his developing psyche than whether or not she has a job or lounges on the couch all summer. To learn more, ask your son what he likes about this girl. Find out what he is getting out of the relationship.

Whatever you do, stop trying to get him to break it off. He will when he is good and ready. All your pestering will do is push him further away from you and closer to her. He'll start hanging out at her house, or worse, in the back of the car parked on some hill. Give him space to make his own decisions, and be there for him without judgment if and when they break up. Just because you will be joyful doesn't mean he will. Be supportive, and recognize his feelings.

Dear Family Coach: My daughter is terrified of thunder. Every time it even starts to look dark and gloomy outside she begins to panic. How can I help get through a storm without freaking out? — Not The Weather Man

Dear Not The Weather Man: Your daughter has it all wrong. What she should be afraid of is lightening, not thunder. Oh, I'm just kidding. Well, sort of. Thunder is just the sound of lightening, but it seems like lightning comes first because light travels faster than sound. Thunder is actually helpful because it alerts us that a storm is near and we need to take cover. It might not be possible to see lightening, so hearing thunder helps. Teaching your daughter about the weather may help.

Additionally, teach her how to stay safe in a thunderstorm. Warn her against using water or a corded telephone; tell her to stay away from windows and doors. Try to figure out ways to calm her nerves during potential storms, as well. Debunk her myths about danger in your area. Careful breathing techniques, yoga or meditation may help, too. Also, work on viewing the storm as less of a catastrophe and more a natural, necessary environmental force. There is rain during a storm, and water is needed for all the plants, animals and people that roam the Earth. It's a good thing.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: XIANG CHEN