Dear Family Coach: My wife and I both work, so we have a nanny three days a week. Some of the time my wife works from home. Our 2-year-old gets along well with the nanny, but when Mom is home she clings to her. If she is brought to another room, she kicks and screams. When Mom tries to close the door to the office she has a complete meltdown until Mom lets her stay. How can we encourage our daughter to spend time with the nanny so my wife can get her work done? —Struggling With Separation

Dear Struggling: Separation can be difficult for toddlers. They don't always understand what goodbye means, and they can struggle with the transition to a different caregiver. That transition becomes even more complicated when the parent separates, but doesn't really separate. It's confusing to the child to be just in the other room, but not be given attention. Your daughter might not understand why Mommy has to be in the office. Furthermore, your wife giving in to her tantrums is only compounding the issue.

Consistency is needed to work your way out of this mess. Start by playing lots and lots of hide-and-seek. This will help reinforce the idea that parents may be out of sight for a time, but they always come back. Then, work on a very brief goodbye ritual for your wife to perform each and every time she heads to the office. Make the separation swift and final. That means, even if your daughter protests and cries, don't reverse course. Simply say, "Bye, I will see you when I've finished my work, after your nap." Be specific, and follow through to the letter. If she says she will be done after naptime, then she must finish by the end of naptime. As your daughter learns to transition with greater ease, your wife can have more flexibility in returning from work.

If you trust your nanny and your daughter is comfortable with her, this issue is more about your wife than your daughter. The nanny can handle the tantrum if your wife just lets her. The crying and kicking will cease quickly when Mom stops intervening. It will be excruciating for your wife at first, but if she truly lays off trying to appease your daughter, this phase will pass quickly.

Dear Family Coach: My 10-year-old daughter has gotten in the habit of cursing. Her teacher told me she is cursing in school. In our home anything can be said, so it doesn't bother me. Do I have to tell her to stop? — Potty-Mouth Mom

Dear Potty-Mouth: I can appreciate your open language style at home. Cursing is simply one way of communicating. However, not everyone shares your philosophy. There is a time and place for everything. Your daughter must learn this. Cursing like a sailor at a board meeting or while waiting in line at Starbucks isn't socially acceptable. Feel free to communicate in any manner you wish at home. But you must teach your daughter about proper behavior when she's out of the house.

If she continues to speak in a manner that is deemed inappropriate for school, she could face consequences. She may lose friends, get detention or even get suspended. When she curses, help her find alternative words to express how she is feeling. Also, it might be difficult to curb her potty mouth outside the house without also working on it inside the house. It takes practice and impulse control. Be a good role model for your daughter by curbing your own language, too.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.