Dear Family Coach: I am a single mother with a 12-year-old daughter. I am currently pregnant with a second child. My daughter and I are very close, and I don't want our relationship to be impacted by having another child. But realistically, as a single mom, I am going to need some help around the house. Unfortunately I am no longer with the father of the baby. How much can I rely on my daughter to help after the baby is born? — Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed: Your current situation is a bit of a challenge, but raising two children on your own is doable. Is it reasonable to expect your daughter to help out around the house after the baby arrives? Of course. But you need to tread lightly so as not to transfer all your work to her. As a member of the family (a nearly grown one, at that) she should be expected to take out the garbage, do her laundry, fix some easy meals, vacuum and pick up a few groceries on the way home from school sometimes. She should not, however, take on loads of responsibility to care for the baby.

It is wonderful that you and your daughter have such a strong relationship. Bringing in another child will affect that, but you can minimize any strife by letting your daughter decide how much she wants to help with the baby. If she takes a strong interest in changing diapers or feeding the baby, great! Let her roll with that. But if she appears more withdrawn and seems to be missing your one-on-one relationship, back off a bit. Try to remember that it was not her decision to have this baby and it may be a difficult adjustment for her, too.

Dear Family Coach: My husband and I both work. We have flexible schedules so we have taken care of our children most of their lives. But this year we are finding that we need to send our kids to after-school care one or two days a week in order to get our work done. The problem is the kids hate the after-school program. I admit that it isn't great. But it's convenient, inexpensive and good enough. Should I make them stay or just find another time to get my work done? - Day Care Weary

Dear Weary: Your children have been lucky to have had few babysitters and been to few day care centers until this point. Of course they would rather be with you than the afterschool program. I'm guessing you and your partner have sacrificed a few things to pick up the kids every day. Since some schools dismiss anywhere from 11 a.m. on half-days (oh, I hate those half-days) to 3 p.m., it is often difficult to finish everything you have to do. Parents often feel stressed if tasks are lingering at the end of the day, and they may hasten bedtime so they can finish up and get to bed, too.

I wouldn't rush to assuage the kids' complaints. If you have evaluated the after-school program and deemed it good enough, leave the kids where they are. There is no harm in having them do something that isn't their first choice if it's good for the team (the family). They will complain nonstop if you show you are upset or have one ounce of guilt about the situation. So don't let on and this will pass. When — and if — your schedule changes you can always make an adjustment.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.