Dear Family Coach: My 10-year-old son refuses hugs and kisses. He won't say "I love you" either. It really hurts because he used to run into my arms and tell me sweet words. I respect his boundaries, but I worry that he is stifling his feelings in an unhealthy way. He assures me that he does love me. Still, what can I do to help him express himself more? — Loving Mom

Dear Mom: While it may be painful for you that your son doesn't show his love with words and hugs, it shouldn't necessarily be an area of concern. Some people are comfortable being more demonstrative. They gush love with hugs and kisses and the sweetest of sweet statements. That isn't your son. Others show their love with subtle gestures and statements. It may take reading between the lines sometimes, but I bet your son still expresses his love for you. It's best to put those memories of snuggles away for now instead of trying to pull them out of him. You'll likely end up pushing him further away. His discomfort will be present, and he could shy away from any affection.

However, I do think that some children have a hard time identifying feelings and finding ways to manage them. These children have more angry outbursts or overblown reactions. If this is the case for your son, there are ways to help him deal more appropriately when something is bothering him. Start by finding a feelings chart. It shows pictures of faces (like emojis) expressing various feelings. Sometimes it is easier for kids to identify how they are feeling from these pictures. When you see your son going through something, show him the chart and let him point to how he is feeling. Then put words to that feeling. Over time he will improve in identifying his feelings and expressing them.

Dear Family Coach: My wife and I would like to teach our kids more about gratitude and the importance of being charitable. Do you have any bite-sized ideas for getting the whole family active in volunteer work? — Helping Parents

Dear Parents: It seems impossible to find ways to allow children to volunteer. So many agencies require kids to be 13, or they have an adults-only policy. This is a real shame. When children perform service projects or volunteer, they learn about the issues in their community and the world. At a young age, these kids understand that we have a collective responsibility to help those who are less fortunate. In the process, it helps children become more grateful for what they have in their own life.

With some creativity, it is possible to do all sorts of activities with the family. Have a family meeting to discuss each member's areas of interest. Here are some potential ideas: the environment, hunger, animals, seniors, poverty, veterans, military families or homelessness. After the meeting, do a little research. Are there programs in the community that could use your help? If children cannot volunteer, maybe they could do a toy or food drive. They could bake cookies for a local women's shelter or make cards for the elderly in nursing homes. Charity doesn't have to be a large-scale endeavor. Another good idea is to do simpler one-off acts. Is there an elderly neighbor who could use a visit or to whom you could bring groceries? Is there a park littered with garbage you could help clean up as a family? Lastly, you might contact the school and ask whether there are any requests for school supplies for needy kids. This is something to which your children can certainly relate.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.