Dear Family Coach: I recently found out that my 10-year-old son is regularly being kicked at school. When I asked him why he didn't tell the teacher, he said he didn't want to because he thought it was better for the bully kick him instead of some of the other kids. He also said he was afraid the bully would tell the other children not to like him. How can I help him in this situation? — Saddened Mom

Dear Mom: That's heartbreaking. Your son is someone special trying to protect others. However, it's important to tell him that he shouldn't feel he must take abuse for any reason. No child or adult has the right to put his (or her) hands on him in any way that makes him uncomfortable or inflicts pain. Make sure he knows that by stating it explicitly. Commend his incredibly thoughtful nature, and let him know that you see how selfless he acted.

Try to find out more about the incidents. Where and when do they happen? Where are the adults during those times? Although your son might not be on board, let him know that you will need to address the issue with the school. He may fear retribution. Give him tools to deal with any potential fallout. For example, role-play how to handle the playground if kids begin to tease him for being a tattletale. Also, identify a few good friends who might be able to stand by his side. You might even contact those kids in advance and, without giving details, simply ask them to support your son as needed.

Tell your son he should absolutely discuss any future incidents with you or his teacher. Speaking up against a bully is brave and not always easy. But help your son see that if he doesn't, the child is likely to continue the behavior and it could potentially escalate.

Dear Family Coach: My 7-year-old is terrified of going to the dentist. She cries and hyperventilates if I even mention a cleaning. I worry that her attitude will affect her dental health and hygiene. How can I help her overcome this phobia? — Concerned

Dear Concerned: Try to get to the bottom of what she fears specifically. Is it the pain she worries about? Does she have unsubstantiated negative fantasies about dentistry? Did she have a bad experience? Once you know more about the issue, you can directly address those concerns. Often, having procedures explained clearly and thoroughly ahead of time can drastically reduce fears. Make sure that you aren't adding to her concerns by providing some of your horror stories or commenting on your own fears. Make the dentist's chair a safe and happy place for your child. This may mean finding another dentist who has special training and a good reputation for working with fearful children.

Pediatric dental care has come a long way since I was a child. Good dentists have incredibly creative ways to make kids comfortable. They utilize distraction, alternate silly terms, judicial use of gas and anesthetizing and short appointments to address the special care required with children. I know many adults who would benefit from the same tactics.

Whatever you do, unless it is an emergency, don't force your child to undergo a procedure. If you head to the dentist but she still exhibits duress, make another appointment. With each visit, have the dentist meet with her to talk and develop a relationship. Additionally, teach your daughter some calming techniques, such as meditation or mindfulness.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.