Dear Family Coach: My son is in 10th grade, and he has stopped returning my texts. I am at my wits' end trying to get his attention. How would you deal with this situation? — Constantly Looking Mom

Dear Looking: Take his phone away. That'll do it. All the pleading and yelling in the world will not get you anywhere without action. He is clearly sending you a message that you aren't important and you can wait. Meanwhile, you are spending your precious time calling and texting and reaching out to friends to find your very own son. That's not OK.

One of the cardinal rules for children with cell phones is that they answer when you call or text. It is not negotiable. If you paid for the phone, and you pay for the monthly service, then take the phone away for several days. One day he can easily get through or work around. Two days will drive him near the brink of insanity. Trust me — the next time you text, he will reach for his phone without a second's delay.

If your son bought his phone and pays for the bill, then double lock him out of the house when he is at a friend's home. Then, pretend you don't hear him ringing the bell when he returns. When he calls from his cell phone to get you to open the door, don't answer the phone. It ain't pretty; But it works.

Dear Family Coach: My child refuses to do his homework. It is the same scenario every day. After a snack I ask him to get out his work and begin on his own. I put him in a quiet place, and then the kicking and screaming and delaying and arguing begins. How can I get my son to just sit nicely and do his work? — Had Enough Mom

Dear Had Enough: I hope it eases your mind to know similar daily struggles occur in millions of American homes every single day. Homework used to be just a little practice at home to keep concepts fresh. Now, homework is more of an extension of the school day. Many schools are giving so much homework that kids have to spend hours working at the kitchen table in addition to the eight hours at school. They are exhausted, and exhausted children — and their parents — start to lose their will to do this grueling homework day after day. A little understanding and intervention can go a long way.

I don't know the exact reason your son is having trouble, but he is clearly letting you know that the current situation isn't working for him. Getting started on homework right after a brief snack might not be enough time to decompress. Because his work is taking so long, you are probably trying to get started early. A longer break might make him more ready to begin. Being in a quiet room alone may work for some children, but for others it is too isolating and can be even more distracting. Another idea is to try breaking up homework time. Do a little bit while you are making dinner and the rest immediately afterward. Have a reward if your son gets his homework done by, say, 7 pm. If he doesn't, don't make a big fuss; Just try again the next day without any penalty or lecture.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Jim Larrison