Dear Family Coach: I want to discuss dating with my teenage son. But I am not sure whether he likes boys or girls or both. I don't want to assume, but I'm also not sure how to address this. I want him to know we support whatever he decides. How can we convey this without it getting awkward? — Loving Hetero Parents

Dear Parents: Years ago, when my son was probably 6, a doctor told us that a problem would be fixed by the time he married a nice girl. I immediately thought about how presumptuous the doctor was being. But my next thought was how damaging that innocent comment could be to a child trying to understand his sexuality. At that time, I had no knowledge of my son's persuasion, but it doesn't matter. The point is that as a society, we need to assume children could marry someone of either sex until we learn differently.

It's wonderful that you are consciously trying to show your son that you will accept him no matter who he chooses to love. It doesn't have to be an awkward conversation. In fact, the person who has the most control over how awkward it gets is you. If you are matter-of-fact about the possibility of him dating a girl or a boy, then he likely will be, too. He might proclaim his preference right then. Whether or not he does doesn't matter. Let him know that you will be OK with it if he makes a different choice at any time. And then have your talk about dating, relationships, birth control and sexually transmitted diseases. I doubt your son's sexuality will be any more or less awkward than everything else on the agenda for the chat.

Dear Family Coach: My 5-year-old boy is sometimes very sweet, but other times we have no control over him. He hits, throws toys and ignores our requests. We tried spanking and grounding him, but it didn't work. We do timeouts, but he just gets out. I feel like a terrible parent because at times I lose my patience and yell. Please help me make my child listen. — Embarrassed and Desperate

Dear Embarrassed: The problem is that you are not top dog in your house. Rather than you making the rules and enforcing them, your child is manipulating situations as he sees fit. If he doesn't want to be shopping in Target, he throws a giant fit to make you leave immediately or buy him a treat. If he doesn't feel like cleaning up his toys, he just throws them at you as a distraction.

In order for you to change the dynamic and encourage him to listen, you need to have firm consequences for his actions and state them in advance. For example, if you must go shopping, tell him at the door of the store what behavior you expect. If he doesn't behave, he will have to go to bed without a story or miss dessert or lose the opportunity to watch his favorite show. Do the same when he isn't listening. Make one request, and let him know what the consequences will be if he doesn't respond as requested.

What's most important is that consequences are stated in advance and that you always follow through with them. He will likely throw more tantrums as a result, hoping to sway you to give in to his demands. Hang tough. When he sees that no amount of whining or unpleasant behavior influences you, he will start listening and behaving better. Also, make sure not to reward him with your attention — even negative attention — when he is acting out. But do shower him with attention when he is behaving nicely.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.