Dear Family Coach: For weeks — and possibly months — before Christmas I told my kids to be good or Santa wouldn't bring them gifts. They had their moments, but every time I mentioned Santa and gifts they straightened up. Now that Christmas has passed I have no idea how to keep this going. Please help me figure this out. — Missing Santa

Dear Missing Santa: Well, the Easter Bunny's always watching ...

Kidding. It seems that you've come face to face with the No. 1 flaw of the ol' act-right-or-Santa-will-give-you-coal line. The allure of a quick Santa fix is often too much for parents to pass up. But Santa doesn't stick around, and at some point you need to be in charge. Trust me, you will feel a lot more in control when you master a few important parenting techniques.

Instead of looking for a magic bullet to improve behavior, understand that bad behavior happens. But it can be minimized. To begin with, learn how to say "no"— and mean it. Kids whine and misbehave often because they feel they have wiggle room. Ignore the ensuing tantrum. Then, when the child calms down, re-engage immediately. Lastly, find two or three behaviors to work on with a reward chart. Start simple and make sure the behavior is quantifiable. Before you know it you won't need Santa next year.

Dear Family Coach: My son tends to lie to us when he does something he shouldn't or makes a mistake. For example, he recently lied about handing in a homework assignment that he forgot about. We asked him if he did it before it was due and he said yes. That lie spiraled into a call to the teacher and a lot of embarrassment. How can I help him admit an error rather than getting trapped in a series of lies? — Lied to Mom

Dear Mom: This is a two-pronged problem. The first issue is that your son forgot to do his assignment and the second issue is that he lied about it afterward. Forgetting an assignment here or there isn't really a big problem. Mistakes and bad choices happen and they shouldn't be the end of the world. People mess up and generally don't like how it feels. Most mistakes are prompts to do better next time. Gently help your son figure out why the mistake happened

Kids often lie to avoid consequences. Your son probably knows that if he tells you the truth about forgetting to do the assignment, you will be angry and likely punish him. It sure seems easier just to fib about the mistake and hope not to be discovered. No one really likes to admit mistakes publically. Calmly ask your son why he feels he has to lie. Whatever he says is the answer to how to fix this problem. The best way to help youngsters admit their mistakes is to create an environment where mistakes are accepted. Show your son with words and actions that you are far more impressed with an honest discussion about mishaps than you are worried about punishing. You might have to bite your tongue on more than one occasion, but stay focused on the end goal, which is honest communication.

Dr. Catherine Pearlman, the founder of The Family Coach, LLC, advises parents on all matters of child rearing. To write to Dr. Pearlman, send her an email at questions@thefamilycoach.com. To find out more about Dr. Catherine Pearlman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Kirt Edblom