Today's column is about women who prey on married men, wives who are sometimes too tired to be affectionate and daughters who avoid their parents' mistakes ...

ANNE: I used to know a woman who'd been the victim of incest for several years. She rationalized it by convincing herself that it only happened because she was so desirable and irresistible that her molester just couldn't help himself. (She really was stunning.) No doubt he reinforced this by accusing her of provoking him — par for the course with sexual abusers.

Then she started spending the rest of her life trying to prove how irresistible she was, only going after men who were taken — men for whom she had absolutely no desire — just to see if she was enticing enough to pry them away from their women and into her bed. All she wanted to do was prey on married men to test her "wow" power. There was no pleasure; she was just adding another notch to her non-chastity belt.

She started off as a victim, but instead of working on fixing the problem, she chose to become a homewrecker who doesn't care about the harm she inflicts while attracting attention to her precious self. I have no more sympathy for her than I do for a once-abused child who turns into a molester, as it quite often happens.

BARBARA: I'm a 32-year-old working married woman with a young son. I find that men are to blame for many of the adulterous acts that happen in our society. On the other hand, there are women who purposely go for the unattainable men. They know their vulnerabilities. They make them feel sexy, wanted, funny — all the things that I, as a working mom and wife, sometimes let fall by the wayside.

It's not that the wives don't love their husbands or desire them; it's that life at times trumps all the things that you know your partner needs. Marriage is work and full of ups and downs. Men need more affection than they're willing to let on. That's why they stray.

SALLY: Alcoholism runs rampant though my family on both sides. My dad has been sober for 20 years. My mom still drinks. My mom was an abusive drunk and very selfish. She enjoyed constantly putting me down. I was never good enough. My parents divorced when I was 7 years old, the first of several failed relationships in my life.

My dad was a good provider in the sense that I was never without food, clothes and a roof over my head. But there was little emotional support.

So, what I saw from both sides of my family was drinking, drug use, abuse and cheating. But I've been happily married for over 10 years and with my husband for almost 20. We have two beautiful children who know without a doubt that they're loved. They're well-adjusted children.

I've faced the demons that many in my family have chosen not to. I made the choice to break the cycle. Just because a childhood wasn't good doesn't mean that you can't have a good life as an adult.

Have you used sex to validate you? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."

Photo credit: at Pixabay