Today's column is like one of those "Count How Many Things Are Wrong With This Picture" puzzles. I stopped counting at 22.

Alicia says she was married for over 20 years and has a "terrific 16-year-old son." She's been divorced for two years.

"My divorce was amicable, and I refused all alimony. I'm self-supporting, work full-time at one position, part-time at another. I've done well professionally and economically."

Before she married, Alicia dated Jeremy. "I was 19 and in love and I slept with him."

After dating her for a year, Jeremy dumped her. Through the grapevine, Alicia has learned that Jeremy has since been married "at least three, possibly four times." Fortunately, he doesn't have any children.

After 27 years of not having any communication, Alicia ran into Jeremy.

"I was thrilled that he even talked to me."

They started dating. Six months later he moved in. Before that, Jeremy had been living with his mother, who passed away. Her home and assets are in probate.

"In the beginning, he pursued me with passion and wooed me with flowers and fancy dinners. I fell in love with him again, despite repeated warnings from my family and friends who remembered our first go-around.

"Jeremy promised that we'd travel all over the world. So far we've taken two one-day car trips.

"I pay for everything. That includes utilities, groceries, entertainment, clothing and even his haircuts. I spend $100 a week on beer. He keeps telling me that he'll soon be coming into some money from his mother's estate. He says he's trying to be responsible for the bills and that he's 'working on' himself.

"He has a dental degree and practices on Tuesday evenings, Saturdays and Sundays. I've never been to his office. He doesn't have a business line or a receptionist and his patients call him directly on his cellphone.

"When these calls occur, he tells the patients he'll call them back when he has his appointment book in front of him. Sometimes he'll take the call and go outside. The calls are always very brief.

"When he leaves on the weekends, he's gone all day and doesn't take my calls. He tells me to come to his office so he can clean my teeth, but he never follows through on those invitations. He's in such an anxious and giddy mood to leave on the weekends, he forgets all about what he said.

"He hasn't paid any income tax in 10 years. He declared bankruptcy several years ago and doesn't own a checkbook.

"Jeremy keeps saying he wants to marry me, but I'm afraid he'll ruin me financially and professionally. I've met his family and only three of his friends, who are indifferent to me. His sister-in-law has hinted that she knows very little about him, even though she's been married to his younger brother for over 10 years.

"I spent over $900 on his last birthday, between gifts, dinner and a concert. He thanked me. But for my birthday, I got nothing. He gave me a birthday card two weeks after the fact. I've never received anything personal from him except a small bottle of perfume at Christmas."

More about Alicia to come.

Any advice for Alicia? Send your thoughts along with your questions and problems to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."

Photo credit: GPS