Dear Cheryl: I met Nina in December, and we hit it off. I was working in her building for a week. (I go to different places for my job.) We talked every day, and I sensed she was interested. She told me she was single and made it clear she was available. I asked her if she'd like to see a show and she said yes, but she never committed to an actual date.

We talked a few more times, but I started to think she wasn't interested because she disappeared for 10 days around Christmas without making plans. Around the first of the year, she sent me a long detailed email telling me what she'd done for the past few weeks. I contacted her asking if she still wanted to go to the show. She said yes again.

Time passed, and she said she'd like to make plans for a Saturday night when she's not working. I know that this is a busy time of the year for her.

She said she'd call me in two weeks. Three weeks passed. I called her and got her voicemail. She didn't call back. I called a week later and left another message. She didn't call back.

I don't think it was unreasonable to call her after three weeks when she said that she'd call in two. Was it? Was it too much to call again?

Was she interested in me and then changed her mind, or does she just like the thrill of being pursued?

I won't call again unless she calls me, which seems unlikely. I've been told that if a girl is interested, she'll find a way to contact a guy.

By the way, this is not the first time that this has happened to me, but I still find it confusing. Why do women do this? Why can't they just say no if that's what they mean, or say they have a boyfriend if they don't want to go out with you?

How can I avoid these women in the future? They're too draining. Please advise. —Through Calling

Dear Through Calling: I'm going to take your questions in order.

I agree with you: It wasn't unreasonable to call her after three weeks, even though she said she'd call you. I'm a firm believer in putting yourself out there if you want something. But, when she didn't return that call, you should have stopped.

My gut tells me she was interested in you at the beginning but then something happened. What? Maybe she went back with an old boyfriend. Maybe she met someone over Christmas. Maybe she met someone she likes better. Maybe there are things going on in her life that have nothing to do with you or dating, but make her unavailable. It could be family or work issues.

It's hard to say why women do this. Some women (most women, I hope) would never do this. Some women just don't have the guts to say they're not interested. They think it's kinder to string a guy along until he takes the hint. Some just like having options.

My advice is to keep putting yourself out there. If you do, you'll meet a woman who says yes when she means yes.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your tales, problems and rants, to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."

Photo credit: at Pixabay