How do you have a happy marriage if you've never seen one? If all you've known is abuse, unhappiness and violence, how do you find peace?
Naomi's parents were born in the same small town in Europe. In fact, they were related. Her father was her mother's uncle. He went to school. "She was a girl, so she wasn't allowed any schooling except for some private lessons in how to read and write. Most of her education consisted of housework, cooking and caring for her nine younger siblings."
When her father came to this country, he went into business, buying and selling scrap metal. When her mother immigrated, the only job she could get was sewing buttons on men's suits. "It barely paid for her room and board and carfare. She was worse off than she'd been in Europe."
After three years, and with no other prospects, she agreed to marry Naomi's father, even though he was her uncle and 12 years older than her. He was also divorced and had two children, who lived with their mother.
"My mother despised my father, but of course was obliged to sleep with him. That union produced five babies, all girls. My father wanted a boy, but it never happened. I was the youngest. After my birth, he was so disappointed he never slept with my mother again. He blamed both of us. He didn't know it's the male who determines the sex of a fetus.
"He took out his disappointment on us, abusing her verbally and ignoring me. In the 18 years I lived under the same roof with my father, he never held me or touched me and never spoke to me except to reprimand me."
The two sisters closest to Naomi in age tormented her. They would beat her. When she was 7, they threw her against a door and broke her nose. "I fainted but received no medical attention. I couldn't breathe through my nose for the next 40 years."
Naomi was desperate to escape from home. Six months after she graduated from high school, she married the first man who proposed. "I didn't love him, but I grabbed on like a drowning man grabs at a rope. I looked to him as my savior."
Naomi says her husband was "tender, kind and compassionate" while they were dating. "He treated me like a princess and promised to take me away from my horrible home and make me happy."
But he changed overnight, she says. "First he started abusing me verbally, and then physically. For the second time, my nose was broken."
Naomi gave birth to two sons and a daughter. Seven years after the wedding, her mother forced her father to help her.
"My father had been prosperous for years. He promised me that if I got divorced, he'd help support me and my children. He kept his promise. My clever lawyer had arranged things in such a way that my husband was forced to sign the divorce papers.
"The day of my divorce was the happiest day of my life. I'm 81 now and reveling in gratitude every day I spend on Earth."
How has your parents' marriage influenced you? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants, to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."
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