We recently heard from Tyrannosaurus Beth, who felt she was the last woman who had any morals. Today we hear from men who wish there were more of her.
PAUL: I'm a white middle-aged heterosexual male who's had only one relationship in his whole life, with the girl next door whom I had the good fortune to marry 36 years ago. So I guess my opinion doesn't count. All the more so since I'm an unabashed Christian.
Still, I want to say that even before I became a Christian, what first attracted me to a woman was her virtue. Honest! Everything else was second or third. And I've known many other guys like this. And I know single people today who don't want to jump into the sack on the second or third date, let alone the first.
But I agree that we're a dying breed. It makes me sad for this generation, and mine, too, since this sex-obsessed culture makes it difficult at times even for us oldsters to stay true.
JON: Amen! Amen! Amen! Or — lest I be labeled part of the Religious Right by those dying to find a reason to criticize Beth and all those who agree with her — speak that truth, sister!
I hear women lament the poor pool of candidates as the justification for their actions, and I call bull. Go find a man you want, and then aggressively pursue him. Don't wait for Mr. Wonderful to stumble across you. But above all, don't be easy. And don't whine about double standards. A man who sleeps around is just as valueless as a woman who does.
GEORGE: Beth and I are on the same page. My goal is a marriage with absolute fidelity. When I achieve that, I don't want the thought of past sex partners dancing through my mind, depriving my wife of the intimacy and the exclusivity she deserves.
KEN: I agree totally with Beth. The moral fabric in this country is not the one I was raised with. It saddens me because I have seven grandchildren, and no matter what I do or say, they're going to go with the flow. It's why I think about leaving this country.
On the other hand ...
DONALD: Let me suggest that in the relationship between men and women, there's a window of opportunity when the relationship can easily move to the next level. With some people, this window is open on the first or second date. May I suggest that many one-night stands end in a 40-year marriage, three kids and 12 grandchildren? This is not a bad thing. Beth wants to move that window of opportunity. She wants to close the blinds and draw the drapes. Is this a good thing?
May I suggest that if the man — men are usually the instigators — does not act during this window of opportunity, there can be serious consequences. The pheromones we give off may lose their potency. Psychological switches that are turned off may never be turned back on.
Men, do you care if your partner has had many sex partners before you? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."
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