Cameron, Lizzie liked to tell people, was her "everything." She'd say, "He's my best friend, my lover, the person who makes me laugh, the one who consoles me when I cry." The only thing he wasn't was her husband. And that was just fine with both of them.

When they started dating, Lizzie was 27, and Cameron was 35. They'd both been married before. They'd both been through horrendous divorces. Neither of them had any desire to repeat the experience. And they saw no reason to. "We couldn't think of a thing that marriage would add to our relationship. It was pretty great the way it was."

After they'd been dating for seven months, the lease on Lizzie's apartment was up. She was going to renew it, when Cameron suggested she move in with him. She was thrilled. It was furnished in "early bachelor." He told her to decorate it however she liked. "He told me he wanted me to make myself at home."

Three years passed. Things were good, but Lizzie found herself changing. She wasn't sure she wanted children, but she wasn't sure she didn't want them, either. What she was sure about was that if she had children, she wanted to be married.

It started getting on her nerves that she had to introduce Cameron as her "boyfriend," which was better than "significant other," but not much. It bugged her that when someone assumed they were married, Cameron immediately set them straight.

"What was so bad about being married?" she wondered. Why was Cameron so opposed to being her husband? She felt they were married in everything but name, so maybe it was time to make it official.

More than anything, Lizzie was hurt. If they loved each other, lived together and planned a future together, why weren't they married? Cameron would always say that the way he looked at it, they were together because they chose to be, not because there was a piece of paper keeping them that way. But Lizzie didn't think there was anything wrong with a piece of paper. And neither did her family, especially her mother. She kept saying, "Well?"

The relationship started to unravel. Every little thing set Lizzie off. Cameron left his socks on the floor. Lizzie would throw a fit. He kept her waiting 10 minutes. She'd start to cry. He forgot to pick up her cleaning. She slammed the door in his face.

The more she said she wanted to get married, the more Cameron dug in his heels. He said the constant pressure she was putting on him was destroying them. They went to counseling, but neither of them budged.

Finally, Lizzie gave Cameron an ultimatum. Marry me, or else. He chose else. Six months later, he was living with the receptionist in his office.

Lizzie is spending every night crying herself to sleep. Sometimes, she thinks she let "a little piece of paper" destroy her happiness. Other times, she thinks it was the receptionist that kept Cameron from making a commitment to her.

What do you think?

Are you commitment-phobe? Have you been with someone who is? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my new website askcheryl.net.