Our parents are our first teachers — for better or worse.

ANGIE: My father cheated on my mother. Whenever she asked him for a divorce, he would say: "No one's going to want you. You're old and have four kids." (She was 29 at the time.) He was verbally abusive to all of us.

My mother finally left him when we were all older. She met and married the most wonderful man within a year of her divorce.

I believe it was because of the relationship between my parents that my three older siblings all dabbled in drugs and alcohol. They all have verbally abusive, high-drama relationships. I was also influenced. At 19, I married the first nice man I met. I knew he would never cheat on me. He was really sweet, and I knew I would be safe.

Six months into that marriage I knew I'd made a mistake. There was no passion, and I dreaded seeing him come home from work. Even though he was sweet and attentive, I realized there are more important things to look for in a partner. I left.

It's been 12 years, and I'm afraid to make another mistake. It's hard to get close to men even though I know because of my wonderful stepfather that there are some great men out there. He gives me hope. He and my mother are still together after 30 years. He's the best thing that could have happened to my mom and me.

I hope my story will help someone who's in a miserable marriage to get out. If they don't, their kids will seek out relationships that are awful or just plain wrong because they'll duplicate what they saw growing up.

YOLANDA: My parents hated each other. They fought constantly and rarely had a decent word to say to each other. My mother would complain to me constantly about my father. She told me he had cheated on her and spent all our money.

I grew up thinking all married people hated each other or at best barely tolerated each other. I thought the stuff we read about or see in movies was just fairytales for adults. I just assumed a husband was something you had to get and marriage was something you had to do, so the best thing was to get it over with as quickly as possible. I had a very small wedding because, well, what was I celebrating?

I married my first husband because he was someone I could control. I really thought that was a good thing! I wasn't too concerned about the fact that there wasn't any passion between us. It didn't take me long to figure out that there had to be more to life and marriage than being able to tell someone what to do.

It took me many years, a lot of therapy and several marriages to realize how dysfunctional the home I grew up in was and how destructive my parents' example was to my life. It took me even longer to really believe that there could be friendship, love and respect between husband and wife.

I finally get it, and now I know what I want and won't settle for less.

How has your parents' relationship influenced your relationships?

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."