We often hear about the positives and negatives of marrying an older man. Today, we hear from an older man. According to Gary, it's all negatives.

Gary was 51 when he married Jolie. She was 34. They met just after he'd gotten divorced after 15 years of marriage. He was running a small gym. Jolie, who was in college, was a client.

Gary heard that Jolie was having affairs with several other clients. He described: "Once I became aware of her promiscuous nature, I asked her whether she wanted to fool around. That's how our relationship began." It wasn't the most romantic of beginnings, but it was a pretty good indication of what was to come.

After a year of fooling around, Jolie moved in with Gary. Gary said: "I paid all the bills, and she did as she pleased. During this time, I eventually realized that she lacked many of the desirable traits necessary for a good marriage and didn't really care for me. But I loved her."

After several years, Jolie graduated from college and moved to another state. They maintained a long-distance relationship, but things changed: "I started feeling guilty about her. When we were together, she wanted a child, but I didn't. She wasn't getting any younger. She was past 30. I wanted to give her another chance to be a mother. I told her I would marry her if she wanted. She did. I kid myself thinking she really cared for me. I talked myself into it."

What Gary came to realize was that the real reason Jolie married him was she was sick of working. The marriage, as you can imagine, was a disaster. Jolie acted like she was doing Gary a favor when she had sex with him. And she actually had no interest in starting a family. She started to — or, rather, continued to — fool around.

Sadly, Gary says: "I gave up any thoughts of finding happiness with her. And that's where we are today. I still pay all the bills. She's a terrible housekeeper and thinks only of herself. She has two dogs that receive more attention than I do."

We've heard from women who marry older men and then complain about lousy sex and feeling prematurely old. They say that they made a bad bargain for a cushy lifestyle and use that to justify cheating.

Gary says that he has no sympathy for these women: "They deserve whatever unhappiness or lack of fulfillment they feel. They feel sorry for themselves and blame their husbands for their unhappiness.

"I wish my wife would leave me. I would never take her back. She said that if I tried to get a divorce, she'd take me for everything I have. But why should I get a divorce? I have no interest whatsoever in another woman. Though it's unsatisfactory, at least I still have occasional sex. Do I love my wife? Hardly."

Men, have you married a much younger women? If so, how's that working for you?

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."