Today's column asks some very important questions: How far can a woman go without making a fool out of herself? And how can she tell when a guy is interested as opposed to just being polite?

Tracy has had a crush on River, a co-worker, for a long time. When they met seven years ago, he was married, and she was "happily involved" with someone. She said, "I always thought River was a great guy — smart, funny, polite, good values, great work ethic, down-to-earth, etc."

Flash forward two and a half years. Tracy was no longer involved with that person, happily or otherwise: "One day, I was in River's department and noticed he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. I didn't think anything of it. I just figured he had forgotten to put it on. A few weeks later I casually observed him, and again there was no ring."

The next time Tracy saw River he was wearing a shirt with a car logo. She made some remark about the car, and he said that he said he used to own one. She explained, "I said, 'Used to?' He said, 'Yeah, well, I got divorced, and she got the car.' Bingo!"

Tracy started talking to him whenever she saw him; flirting a little, asking how he was adjusting to life after marriage. She described: "One hot summer day, he was working outside, and I gathered up my courage (I'm very shy) and brought him a bottle of water. We talked for an hour. Everything he said confirmed my first impression of him. He has depth. He's truly one of the good ones."

They continued talking, and four months later Tracy got really bold again. She wrote him a note inviting him to join her one evening to listen to jazz at a piano bar. It wouldn't be a date; it would just be "two single people having a good time together."

River never responded. The following week, Tracy saw him at work and kept on walking without saying a word. River said, "What happened to 'good morning?'"

She said: "Since there were other people around I didn't want to say anything, but when I got back to my desk I texted him. I asked him about my invitation. He said he was flattered, but he wasn't ready for a social evening, and he realized that he'd made a mistake by not responding. The agony in his voice when he said 'I've just fallen off the horse' told me that he wasn't ready for anything."

Ever since, Tracy and River still talk when they see each other, and he makes a point to ask her how she's doing, what she's doing for the holidays, how her son is, what's new in her life, etc.

Tracy admits: "It's obvious, even to a casual observer, that I find him interesting and attractive. And he's never shied away from me or told me to get lost. We joke, we laugh, we reveal things about ourselves. My day is always brighter after talking to him. But we've never moved beyond talking and flirting.

Tracy wonders how much more she can do before she makes a fool of herself. She wonders whether any women have been in her position, and what men think about the situation.

What do you have to say to Tracy?

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."