What's wrong with lawyer jokes?

Well, lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

Lawyers are not held in very high esteem in this country. They're right up there with politicians and journalists. And it's lawyers like Scott who give them such a bad name.

Here's Andi's tale:

She says: "When I was a single mom, my friends would often hook me up with 'this terrific guy' or 'that terrific guy.' The most memorable 'terrific guy' was a prominent attorney.

"I should have refused to even get in his silver Bentley. My dog hated him and that dog even loved the mailman! (Ladies, pay attention to your dog's instincts about men). He took me to a very fancy restaurant and made a huge production out of ordering a $400 bottle of wine, even though I firmly told him that I did not drink."

"'Oh, you'll drink this!'" he said. When those theatrics were finally over, he poured me a glass, which I refused to touch. During all this, he was rude to the point of cruelty to the wait staff, who were actually doing a fine job. I was so dismayed by his behavior I could barely touch my lobster spiedini — which he ordered for me.

"At one point during the dinner, he astonished me by actually saying 'I know you're very impressed that I'm a famous attorney, but don't let that bother you. I'd really prefer you just enjoy being with me, instead of being impressed by me. Some women I've dated just gush over me so much it's uncomfortable.'

"If that one wasn't jaw-dropping enough (he was not at all attractive), he soon followed that statement with this one: 'I need to tell you what I'm thinking right now. I'm thinking we should just leave here and go to my house and start the fire in my study and you and I take off all our clothes and just get warm and cozy in front of the fire on my bearskin rug. Doesn't that sound yummy?'

"I said, in the chilliest voice I could muster, 'Please take me home right now. This minute.' He tried to talk me out of it — using his very best closing argument lines, but I just got up and walked to the door. Thank goodness I got a cab almost immediately, and went home.

"Was I rid of this creep? Oh, if only it were so! He actually stalked me for weeks — I was terrified — and I could not get a restraining order because the judge was a friend of his! His Honor accused me of being 'a hysterical woman who is highly delusional.'

"In desperation I finally called a police captain who was a dear friend of mine. I have no idea what he said or did, but I never saw or heard from Mr. Famous Attorney again.

"And I made a vow. No more blind dates. Ever."

Have you learned the hard way never to date lawyers or doctors or dental hygienists or strippers or people of other profession? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."