Today we continue to see what happens when you innocently Google an old lover.

NICOLE: I've been married for more than 20 years, although the last eight have been a struggle. I'm mainly staying married for the sake of the kids, who will soon be out of the nest. Three years ago, I decided to search for Matt, the last boyfriend I had before I met my husband. Although I'd had several boyfriends prior to him, we shared a connection that was exciting, unique and unforgettable.

We dated for more than a year in our late 20s. He was spontaneous and silly and brilliant and sensitive and highly accomplished in his field. I loved how I felt when I was around him. The relationship ended because we seemed to be on separate paths. I was more on the marriage and family track, and he simply wasn't and didn't know if or when he would be.

I Googled his name, which is fairly common, so way too many results came up. Undeterred, I narrowed my search, adding key terms that pertained to his career. BINGO! I found his home address and wrote him, just a friendly, how-ya-doing kind of letter, filling him in on some general details about my life. I included my email address. That was in December.

In February, I received a reply. He had been wintering in Arizona and had not forwarded his mail. Several back-and-forth emails (including a photo exchange) led to phone calls. We laughed a lot and reminisced. He hadn't ever married, but had been in a long-term relationship that ended several years earlier.

I felt the familiar rush of excitement and found myself longing to see him in person. He pulled back, saying that he couldn't get involved with me as long as I was still married. I protested that I wasn't looking for involvement — I just wanted to have lunch! But he insisted that we stop the flirtation. So I didn't write for a while.

About six months later, figuring enough time had elapsed, I wrote to him and there was a brief flurry of emails, again ending with him telling me that we really should stop. This same scenario repeated itself one final time, when he sent the following note:

"This is it, Nicole. Please do not write me again or search for me on the internet. It is not the life I imagine for you. I can care for you without correspondence. I am very happy you found me. Not everything in my life has worked out the way I had hoped. But this relationship is special. I like that I smile when I hear the music we listened to together. I like that I tingle when I remember dancing with you. Let's do what many old lovers, wiser than us, have done for centuries. Let's let it be. Love, Matt"

That was more than a year ago. I'm much closer now to making a decision about my marriage. If I decide to leave, I know who will get the first email after the dust settles, even at the risk of being disappointed with the outcome.

Have you ever Googled an old lover?

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."