One of the biggest causes of marital unhappiness — right up there with cheating, sex and money — is fat. How many husbands are turned off by their wives' thunder thighs and flabby arms? How many wives are repulsed by their husbands' pot bellies and love handles? How many divorces are caused by saggy butts and double chins?

Sloan weighed 125 when she married Breslin. Her gynecologist recommended that she gain 10 pounds if she wanted to get pregnant. It worked.

"Then I pigged out while I was pregnant and gained a whopping 45 pounds. I topped out at 180 pounds on my 5'8" frame."

After the birth of her daughter, Sloan got down to 155. She didn't have to diet; breast-feeding took off the weight.

"During this time, my husband was not interested in sex. In retrospect, I realized that he had become rather distant and detached after my first pregnancy failed and I weighed 145 lbs, 20 pounds over what I was when we were dating."

Sloan asked Breslin what the problem was. At first, he didn't admit that his lack of interest was due to her appearance. In fact, he didn't admit the problem until Sloan told him she was tired of living without sex and was ready to file for divorce if he didn't get some help for his lack of libido. That's when he told her that her body was a turn-off. If she wanted him to desire her again, she had to lose weight.

Sloan's doctor suggested a healthy diet and a support group. She took his advice and lost 10 pounds. She weighed 145 pounds, but that didn't seem to make a difference to Breslin. He still had no interest in her sexually. She stopped dieting and going to meetings, and she stopped losing weight.

"I think that my husband's continued disinterest in me sexually really took the wind out of my sails when I was trying to resist treats. Those yummies presented themselves as a pragmatic solution to the lack of sensual and physical fulfillment that I was experiencing. How long could I diet without getting any sex to keep me motivated?"

It's now been two and half years since Sloan and Breslin have had sex. She's recently been on a strict diet and it's been working. But she's struggling to lose the last 10-15 pounds.

She's given herself an ultimatum: "If I don't lose the weight and get down to 130 pounds — 5 pounds more than I weighed when we got married — by September 1, I'm filing for divorce. I love my husband deeply, but I refuse to live like this. I don't want my daughter to witness my sadness, which has become so deep that I often cannot mask it in her presence.

"If I don't value my husband and my sex life enough to reach my goal, then I should just leave. And if my husband can't muster the desire to have sex with me at only 5 pounds over what I weighed when we met, then there is far more wrong with our marriage than a little fat.

"Deep down, I wonder if there are other problems in my marriage. I think if I were a man, I would want to sleep with my wife, even if she looked like I do right now."

What role has weight played in your relationships? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."