What was your reaction when you heard Ashley Madison (the website with the slogan: "Life is short. Have an affair!") was hacked? "Serves 'em right" or "uh-oh"?

GRACE: I started having an affair because my husband and I hadn't had sex for quite a while, and I'm terrified of intimacy. I thought I was above cheating, a woman with conviction and morals. I consider myself to be a Christian. That alone makes all of this even more painful and confusing. I feel like scum and am wondering if Jesus can ever forgive me.

I didn't have the courage to have a serious conversation with my husband about our sex life. I'm that afraid of getting close. Instead, when the chance came along to stray, I took it. Obviously, I need to get back into therapy.

How this is all going to end is anyone's guess. More than one person has told me I didn't really have a marriage, but I wasn't willing to do anything about it. My husband and I have both been pretending for a long, long time that things are fine. I have to finally confront some very painful lifetime issues.

MARTHA: Technically I didn't cheat, but I did see someone else, and that had a very big impact on my relationship with my girlfriend (we're gay). We had an agreement that we could see other people, as long as the other one didn't find out. I didn't like this arrangement because I felt jealous all the time, but I went along with it. So guess what happened.

I was the one to start seeing someone after we'd been together a year. It was very short-lived, and even though I didn't think I was acting weird, my girlfriend figured it out, and felt really bad. She was studying for a graduate school entrance exam and exiled herself from all of her friends, including me. That, along with our open relationship, made me feel unwanted, so I looked elsewhere.

We went to therapy, and we've gotten closer, and we're still together two and a half years later. But we went through a very painful time, and it still comes up periodically. Every time it does, it's painful all over again.

AVERY: I'm in my late 30s, never married, and I've never cheated. As I've gotten older, I've noticed a sharp increase in the number of men who are trying to 1) heal from being cheated on, and 2) re-enter the dating world. (That's when I meet them.) For the most part they are — and I say this with compassion — messes.

This is not to say that women whose men have cheated aren't suffering equally, but something about the male psyche can't deal with it. When they begin to date and encounter single women they don't trust them, even if the women have never cheated and wouldn't consider it. They go on one or two dates and then disappear.

Did you have an affair for kicks, but it turned into something serious? Send your tale, along with your questions and problems to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my new ebook, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."