Today's tale proves that parents can't win. If a mother loves her son too much, he can become a momma's boy. If she loves too little, he can become needy. If a father ignores his daughter she can become promiscuous. If he pays her too much attention she can become spoiled.

Madison blames her father for one of her less attractive traits.

"A while back you asked how a woman's relationship with her father influences her love life. Here's my story:

"My father travelled a great deal. Most of his business trips lasted only a few weeks, but some lasted a year or so. I missed him terribly when he was gone. Whenever I mentioned it to my mother she always said, 'When he comes back, he'll bring you a present.' In that way she redirected my longing for my father into a desire for material things.

"My parents had his and hers closets. I used to crawl into my father's closet and just sit there with his clothes hanging all around me. It was the closest thing I could get to a hug. I'd think, 'What will he bring me when he comes back this time? A doll? A book? A game?' He always brought me something nice. He never forgot.

"Now I'm a very materialistic woman. I had several good offers for marriage, but the man I found irresistible — the one I married — was the one who wooed me by telling me all the things he would buy me. Whenever he starts to get jealous, he says, 'No matter what that guy says he'll buy you, I will buy you more.' That always wins me back.

"Our marriage has been difficult because I had no idea how two adults live together in the same house for any length of time. When my parents had disagreements Mom just waited for Dad to leave on another trip — like waiting for a houseguest to go home. In the first years of my marriage, I kept getting exasperated and thought, 'Isn't it about time for him to go somewhere now?'

"At any rate, my husband has always been a good provider and buys me lots of wonderful gifts. Just the other day he came home from work with a dozen yellow roses for me. I'm less concerned with the price or quality of the gifts. I'm more impressed by the frequency, because it proves he's thinking of me when he's away."

Which of your behavior patterns do you attribute to your parents?

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."

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